I joke that Luke tricked me into falling for him. See, the first year we were together he didn’t travel once. I thought I had a great guy who would always be around whenever I wanted to hang out.

That was until he smacked me with the news that he was put on a job in….TEL AVIV, ISRAEL and would be gone for two months straight. Waaaaa??? Say it isn’t so!

I was really worried about what would happen to our relationship while he was gone, but it ended up being a good thing because it forced us to evaluate how we felt about each other and talk about how committed we wanted to be to our relationship.

Luckily we both felt the same way and decided to stay together while he was gone. Right before he left, we said “I love you” for the first time.

While it can be hard when Luke is gone traveling for work, it’s helped me become independent and more sociable with friends. I know how important it is for me to maintain interests and hobbies to keep me busy and happy while he’s away.

I think maintaining a full life with friends and activities, some of which we share and some we do alone, is what makes us both happy and ultimately attracted to each other. I think our friends appreciate that we’re not tied to each other all the time too. Sometimes you just need to hang with the girls!

Of course, when he walks in the door on Friday I’ll have a weeks worth of hugs saved up for him. :)

How do you guys maintain your independence in relationships?

The two most recent wedding I attended were here in Chicago for two of my girlfriends. First was Erin’s. Erin is a college friend of mine who also happens to work with Luke…she even introduced us at her birthday party three years ago!

Erin made a gorgeous, elegant and very classic bride. Her reception followed suit too! It was held at the Union League Social Club, which really embodies old-world Chicago with the dark wood, chandeliers and amazing artwork.

They had a live band that got everyone dancing…

Luke and I loved the slow songs…

My favorite part of Erin’s reception was when her father-in-law took the stage to play some traditional Irish music. Brian, Erin’s husband, and his family took center-stage to show off their Irish step dancing skills.

Everything about Erin’s wedding was gorgeous, classy and fun! – just like Erin herself :)

I must say, one special moment of the evening for me was when Erin’s mom stopped me (we’ve never met) to tell me she is a abattylife reader! That was pretty cool.

Mrs. Fitzgerald and Erin…you put on an amazing wedding! Thanks for inviting us.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a recap of the other wedding I attended recently- black tie and the Four Seasons, ooh lala!

I remember one friend in particular sent me a little congratulations gift, which I LOVED and use every single day. It was a tiny, silver elephant whose trunk was used as a ring holder. I remember it meant a lot to me that she had gone out of her way to help me feel special.

I was on Etsy the other day and came across these adorable personalized ring holders, that I had to share with you.

How cute are these? Any newly-engaged girl would probably just love this little, personalized home for her new bling, right?

Now will one of my friends PLEASE get engaged so I can buy this for them??

Since you’ve come into my life, everyone close to me has agreed that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I thought I had a complete life before I met you- I had great friends, family, a career and my own interests and hobbies. I had no idea how the addition of someone to share it with would make everything seem 10x fuller, happier and complete.

I prayed to God many times to guide me to a man who was smart, kind and handsome. He’s blessed me with much more than I ever could imagine. Your patience, thoughtfulness, intelligence and confidence amaze me. I thank God every day for bringing us together.

Thank you for loving me for exactly who I am. You celebrate my talents & triumphs and are patient and understanding when I may not be at my best. We laugh together every day and have the best conversations, which is more than I could have asked for.

Today, I hope you know that I love you with all my heart and I can’t wait to be your wife.

Love always and forever,

Liz

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to spending my Saturday in a room from 9:00 – 4:00, but it ended up being a pretty enlightening day. The purpose of the retreat was to prepare Luke and I not just for our wedding, but also the life-long marriage that comes after it.

It’s easy to get caught up thinking about the wedding portion without spending much time preparing for the marriage. During the day we talked about everything including: how we define the word commitment, how many kids we want to have, how we’ll manage our finances and how our faith will play a role in our lives.

My favorite part of the day was when we were asked to write each other a love letter describing our feelings about our upcoming wedding. It was nice to have a moment to document my thoughts and also to read Luke’s in return.

The letter was to start with the line “the biggest emotion I have about our upcoming marriage is…” I won’t go into detail, but some of the words used in our letters include: excitement, hope and anticipation.

I’m planning to keep those letters locked away safely, so on our anniversaries Luke and I can pull them out and re-live the emotions we’re feeling leading up to our wedding.

I wonder if we’ll have the same feelings years from now or if we’ll laugh at how naive we were! Either way, it will be a sweet memory to relive.

One line that struck a chord with me was “The most loving thing you’ll ever be able to do is to put each other first.”  

Well said, right? I think this is super important for Luke and I remember, because someday when we have kids, careers and 100 other things taking up our time we might forget to put each other as number one.

My parents have always lived this rule in their marriage, putting their relationship above all else…even us, their kids. They’d try hard not to take sides during disagreements with us, come to decisions mutually behind closed doors so we couldn’t tag the “nice parent,” and back each other up at all times.

Some people might balk at the idea of putting their spouse BEFORE their children, but I think the best thing parents can do for their kids is to love each other first. It provides a sense of security and a foundation for how to have a lasting commitment that so many kids miss out on.

As our wedding day draws nearer, I’m going to try to live this lesson. I’m going to do my best to not let the opinions of others or the stress of planning come before the reason for this day…Luke and I’s love and commitment to each other.  

Do you guys agree that your spouse should come first? How do you ensure you live that lesson in your life?

Thanks Amy @ResourcefulMom for reminding me of this important life lesson!

Luke and I had a wonderful day from start to finish. All week leading up to Sunday Luke had me guessing as to what we were doing. “It’s a surprise” he’d say as I questioned him endlessly. I’m pretty surprised he was able to keep mum all week given my prodding.

We kicked the day off by jumping in a cab near my apartment and heading out to Bucktown. I still had no idea where we were going at the time.

When we arrived at our destination I was super excited to see that we were outside my favorite restaurant Hot Chocolate.

This place is my favorite for many reasons – including of course their amazing hot chocolate. I had never been for brunch before, so I was excited to see what was on the menu.

We started out with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat oatmeal bread and a shot of organic milk.

Then we moved on to lamb hash with winter vegetables and poached eggs and scrambled eggs with giardiniera peppers and salami. We topped it off with blueberry and pineapple/passionfruit smoothies.

It was such a delicious way to start Valentine’s Day and definitely reaffirmed my love of Hot Chocolate.

Our next activity was “within walking distance” according to Luke and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was massages at Asha Spa across the street. Luke’s never had a massage before and I’ve been telling him about how amazing they are for awhile.

My suspicions were right! Luke had made appointments for us both to get one-hour massages and they were soooo relaxing.

If you’ve never had a professional massage before, trust me you’re missing OUT! A professional can soothe and relax your muscles in a way you can’t imagine. They are well worth every penny spent.

I felt so spoiled and special after the surprise day Luke had planned for me. To return the love, that evening I made homemade pizza and gave Luke a box of dark chocolate truffles from Voges.

It was a perfect Valentine’s Day spent with my future husband.

How did you spend your Valentine’s Day?

When I thought about writing this post, I imagined putting into words how Luke makes me feel and how lucky I am to have him. Then I thought, no, it’s his birthday and it should be about him, not me.

So I decided (becuse I’m really inventive and not at all predictable) to write about all the things that make Luke the greatest 28-year-old guy I know. So here it is:

28 Reasons Why My Fiance Rocks:

28. He gives the BEST hugs ever. They’re long, tight and warm.

27. He has great style. He is always sharply dressed, but in an understated way. I never have to worry about him wearing crocs!

26.  His family is tops! They’re one of those rare families that always get along and support each other no matter what.

25. He thinks about others before himself. Like the time my roommate lost all her music on her computer and without saying a word, Luke brought over thousands of his songs he thought she’d like from his collection.

24. He eats like a man. I knew he was a keeper when the first time I cooked for him he ate four plate-fulls!

23. Kids love him. They seriously flock to him as soon as he enters the room. This post explains more.

22. My friends love him. Even my pickiest critics give Luke two thumbs up and I regularly hear “why can’t I meet a guy like Luke?”

21. Ok, everyone loves him. He’s one of those guys that has no enemies and gets along with anyone.

20. He’s a really good golfer. Which means my dad and him will have an activity to bond over for a long time.

19. He says sorry. On the rare occasions we have a disagreement, it never lasts more than a few minutes because Luke is mature enough to admit when he’s wrong and forgive me when I’m wrong. 

18. He climbs mountains in Africa. That’s manly…and really hot.

17. He’s incredibly smart. I know better than to argue politics or challenge him to a game of chess. I will lose everytime!

16. If he likes something, he’s pretty-much obsessed with it. Let’s just say, he’s read every single WSJ front to back since he discovered it in college.

15. He’s dedicated to working out. Not because of vanity, but because he “wants to live a long, active life.”

14. He’s fun to be around. He may appear shy, but watch out because when you least expect it he’ll have you cracking up laughing. Godzilla!

13. He does romance the old way. Luke knows what chivarly is and even to this day will open doors for me, carry my suitcase up stairs and take me on real dates.

12. He’s independant. Time alone, time with friends and time with me are all equally important to him, which I appreciate.

11.  He loves to travel. In three years we’ve been to Argentina, England, France and Mexico. I’ve definitely found my companion in adventure.

10. He is driven to succeed. In all areas of his life from work, relationships, health, knowledge, Luke works hard to be successful.

9. He doesn’t yell…ever. Seriously, in three years I’ve never heard him raise his voice once. It’s pretty incredible.

8. He loves to read. This guy’s book collection is out of control and I love it.

7. He supports people he cares about. Who’s always there to cheer me on at volleyball games and choir performances? Luke. He always comes through.

6. He is a really good listener. Instead of cutting people off and jumping in with his own two cents like so many people do, Luke really takes in what other people say. Even better, he remembers and will ask you weeks later how something turned out.

5. He’s humble. In fact, I’m probably going to get a call shortly after posting this from Luke who will be embarassed by what I wrote. Haha.

4. He takes care of people. I don’t know if it’s the oldest child syndrome, but Luke is always looking out for me. He’s the same way with his younger siblings, friends and even strangers.

3. He’s happy with what he has. Although he’s driven to strive for more, Luke doesn’t take the great things in his life for granted.

2. He doesn’t judge. Luke loves people for who they are. He looks past their faults and celebrates their talents.

1. He’s a good great person. So kind. So thoughtful. So loving. There’s not much more to it than that.

I am SO LUCKY.

Happy 28th birthday Luke! Eat lots of fruit pizza, read lots of books and get ready to receive the biggest hug and kiss in your 28 years from me tomorrow. I love you!

Luke and I had only been causally dating for three months before I was the maid-of-honor in my sister’s wedding. I remember fretting to friends and family about whether or not I should invite him to be my date.

Would he think I was jumping the gun by inviting him to such a special family event or would he be hurt if I decided to go alone? It didn’t help that just a few weeks before his cousin got married and he DIDN’T invite me.

I eventually decided to invite him for one reason- I thought I’d have more fun with him around. It ended up being a perfect choice because he was the ideal date: he got along with everyone, didn’t need to be babysat and was attentive to me.

Here’s a picture of us right after I gave my MOH speech.

I was really nervous, but Luke was so sweet and kept rubbing my shoulders reassuring me that I’d do great. I wasn’t really surprised that he was a good date- he’d treated me so well from the beginning. 

Despite this WONDERFUL plus-one experience I had with Luke, I’ve also been in one that was not so pleasant. Previous to meeting Luke, I had dating a guy for 4-5 months when I got up the nerve to ask him to be my date to a benefit gala I helped plan.

He made up some excuse about already having plans to go see a “cover band” with his buddies the same night. Then when the night rolled around he ended up not even going to see the band because he “fell asleep.” LAME!

After realizing that A) he’d rather go see a cover band than spend the night with me and then B) it was all a big excuse in the first place, I was pretty  humiliated. Let’s just say the relationship ended soon thereafter.

So how do you know if the guy in your life is plus-one worthy? I’ve created a short checklist…

The plus-one worthy guy will:

- Call when he says he will and keeps plans

- Show an interest in things you’re involved in

- Make plans with you for events in the future (more than a week out)

- Put forth effort to get to know your friends and people important to you

The un-worthy guy will:

- Keep you feeling insecure by not calling when he says he will, not keeping plans and not living up to your expectations

- Only take you out during the week or won’t commit to anything on a weekend night until he knows there’s nothing better going on

- not seem interested in talking about your hobbies or interests if they don’t directly relate to him

- get two thumbs down from your pals because he doesn’t put forth any effort with them

So ladies, when your next wedding, holiday party or special event comes up, take a good look at the man in your life and evaluate his plus-one potential.

Leave some comments and let me know how YOU can tell if you’ve got a good plus-one.

That Sunday evening I moped around the apartment trying to convince myself I didn’t care, when finally my phone rang. It was him! We made plans to go to dinner that coming Wednesday and needless to say I was elated. Ok, so it wasn’t a coveted Friday or Saturday night date, but didn’t Wednesday have potential? He wasn’t just fitting me in the one night there was nothing else going on…right?

I put my doubts aside and began to plot the night out with my friends…what would I wear, where would we go, were we going to like each other? I’d been on my fair share of dates in Chicago, so I was surprised by how nervous/anxious I felt about this date in particular.

Wednesday rolled around and I’d be seeing Luke again in less than 19 hours. Low and behold, as my work day started I begin to feel nauseas. Not the “butterflies in my stomach because I’m so excited” nauseous, but the “you better get out of my way woman blocking the bathroom stall!!” nauseous.

I decided it would be better to cancel on Luke that to sit at a restaurant all night trying to keep my food down! Little did I realize that this decision would cause a shift in the dating game Luke and I were playing.

Moments after I let Luke know I was sick and that we’d have to reschedule, I got a text from my friend who works with him.

“Are you really sick?? Luke is asking me.”

“Of course I’m sick!” I replied.

“Oh okay, because he thinks you’re just ditching him to attend our weekly girl’s night.”

Hmmmm… I slowly realized this upset stomach may be working in my favor! Although I really had been dying to see Luke again, canceling the date had made him think I was rearranging things to fit HIM into MY schedule. Was this going to play to my advantage?

The next day, after my friend assured Luke I was NOT at the girl’s night and I was sick, I received another call. Did I want to go out this FRIDAY to dinner and to the museum?? Ding Ding Ding! Instant upgrade!