This weekend Luke and I attended our Pre-Cana retreat on the south side of Chicago. Pre-Cana is the day long preparation class all couples who get married in the Catholic church are required to attend.

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to spending my Saturday in a room from 9:00 – 4:00, but it ended up being a pretty enlightening day. The purpose of the retreat was to prepare Luke and I not just for our wedding, but also the life-long marriage that comes after it.

It’s easy to get caught up thinking about the wedding portion without spending much time preparing for the marriage. During the day we talked about everything including: how we define the word commitment, how many kids we want to have, how we’ll manage our finances and how our faith will play a role in our lives.

My favorite part of the day was when we were asked to write each other a love letter describing our feelings about our upcoming wedding. It was nice to have a moment to document my thoughts and also to read Luke’s in return.

The letter was to start with the line “the biggest emotion I have about our upcoming marriage is…” I won’t go into detail, but some of the words used in our letters include: excitement, hope and anticipation.

I’m planning to keep those letters locked away safely, so on our anniversaries Luke and I can pull them out and re-live the emotions we’re feeling leading up to our wedding.

I wonder if we’ll have the same feelings years from now or if we’ll laugh at how naive we were! Either way, it will be a sweet memory to relive.

This morning one of my blogger friends passed me a link to a post she had written about watching her wedding video years later with her children. She talked about the lessons she’s learned through her years of marriage and what she wished someone had said to her one her own wedding day.

One line that struck a chord with me was “The most loving thing you’ll ever be able to do is to put each other first.”  

Well said, right? I think this is super important for Luke and I remember, because someday when we have kids, careers and 100 other things taking up our time we might forget to put each other as number one.

My parents have always lived this rule in their marriage, putting their relationship above all else…even us, their kids. They’d try hard not to take sides during disagreements with us, come to decisions mutually behind closed doors so we couldn’t tag the “nice parent,” and back each other up at all times.

Some people might balk at the idea of putting their spouse BEFORE their children, but I think the best thing parents can do for their kids is to love each other first. It provides a sense of security and a foundation for how to have a lasting commitment that so many kids miss out on.

As our wedding day draws nearer, I’m going to try to live this lesson. I’m going to do my best to not let the opinions of others or the stress of planning come before the reason for this day…Luke and I’s love and commitment to each other.  

Do you guys agree that your spouse should come first? How do you ensure you live that lesson in your life?

Thanks Amy @ResourcefulMom for reminding me of this important life lesson!

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day spent with those you love, whether thats your significant other, family, friends or even your pet.

Luke and I had a wonderful day from start to finish. All week leading up to Sunday Luke had me guessing as to what we were doing. “It’s a surprise” he’d say as I questioned him endlessly. I’m pretty surprised he was able to keep mum all week given my prodding.

We kicked the day off by jumping in a cab near my apartment and heading out to Bucktown. I still had no idea where we were going at the time.

When we arrived at our destination I was super excited to see that we were outside my favorite restaurant Hot Chocolate.

This place is my favorite for many reasons – including of course their amazing hot chocolate. I had never been for brunch before, so I was excited to see what was on the menu.

We started out with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat oatmeal bread and a shot of organic milk.

Then we moved on to lamb hash with winter vegetables and poached eggs and scrambled eggs with giardiniera peppers and salami. We topped it off with blueberry and pineapple/passionfruit smoothies.

It was such a delicious way to start Valentine’s Day and definitely reaffirmed my love of Hot Chocolate.

Our next activity was “within walking distance” according to Luke and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was massages at Asha Spa across the street. Luke’s never had a massage before and I’ve been telling him about how amazing they are for awhile.

My suspicions were right! Luke had made appointments for us both to get one-hour massages and they were soooo relaxing.

If you’ve never had a professional massage before, trust me you’re missing OUT! A professional can soothe and relax your muscles in a way you can’t imagine. They are well worth every penny spent.

I felt so spoiled and special after the surprise day Luke had planned for me. To return the love, that evening I made homemade pizza and gave Luke a box of dark chocolate truffles from Voges.

It was a perfect Valentine’s Day spent with my future husband.

How did you spend your Valentine’s Day?

Today Luke turns 28! I’m a little blue because we’re apart celebrating  Thanksgiving with our separate families. I wish I could give him the biggest birthday hug and kiss, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

When I thought about writing this post, I imagined putting into words how Luke makes me feel and how lucky I am to have him. Then I thought, no, it’s his birthday and it should be about him, not me.

So I decided (becuse I’m really inventive and not at all predictable) to write about all the things that make Luke the greatest 28-year-old guy I know. So here it is:

28 Reasons Why My Fiance Rocks:

28. He gives the BEST hugs ever. They’re long, tight and warm.

27. He has great style. He is always sharply dressed, but in an understated way. I never have to worry about him wearing crocs!

26.  His family is tops! They’re one of those rare families that always get along and support each other no matter what.

25. He thinks about others before himself. Like the time my roommate lost all her music on her computer and without saying a word, Luke brought over thousands of his songs he thought she’d like from his collection.

24. He eats like a man. I knew he was a keeper when the first time I cooked for him he ate four plate-fulls!

23. Kids love him. They seriously flock to him as soon as he enters the room. This post explains more.

22. My friends love him. Even my pickiest critics give Luke two thumbs up and I regularly hear “why can’t I meet a guy like Luke?”

21. Ok, everyone loves him. He’s one of those guys that has no enemies and gets along with anyone.

20. He’s a really good golfer. Which means my dad and him will have an activity to bond over for a long time.

19. He says sorry. On the rare occasions we have a disagreement, it never lasts more than a few minutes because Luke is mature enough to admit when he’s wrong and forgive me when I’m wrong. 

18. He climbs mountains in Africa. That’s manly…and really hot.

17. He’s incredibly smart. I know better than to argue politics or challenge him to a game of chess. I will lose everytime!

16. If he likes something, he’s pretty-much obsessed with it. Let’s just say, he’s read every single WSJ front to back since he discovered it in college.

15. He’s dedicated to working out. Not because of vanity, but because he “wants to live a long, active life.”

14. He’s fun to be around. He may appear shy, but watch out because when you least expect it he’ll have you cracking up laughing. Godzilla!

13. He does romance the old way. Luke knows what chivarly is and even to this day will open doors for me, carry my suitcase up stairs and take me on real dates.

12. He’s independant. Time alone, time with friends and time with me are all equally important to him, which I appreciate.

11.  He loves to travel. In three years we’ve been to Argentina, England, France and Mexico. I’ve definitely found my companion in adventure.

10. He is driven to succeed. In all areas of his life from work, relationships, health, knowledge, Luke works hard to be successful.

9. He doesn’t yell…ever. Seriously, in three years I’ve never heard him raise his voice once. It’s pretty incredible.

8. He loves to read. This guy’s book collection is out of control and I love it.

7. He supports people he cares about. Who’s always there to cheer me on at volleyball games and choir performances? Luke. He always comes through.

6. He is a really good listener. Instead of cutting people off and jumping in with his own two cents like so many people do, Luke really takes in what other people say. Even better, he remembers and will ask you weeks later how something turned out.

5. He’s humble. In fact, I’m probably going to get a call shortly after posting this from Luke who will be embarassed by what I wrote. Haha.

4. He takes care of people. I don’t know if it’s the oldest child syndrome, but Luke is always looking out for me. He’s the same way with his younger siblings, friends and even strangers.

3. He’s happy with what he has. Although he’s driven to strive for more, Luke doesn’t take the great things in his life for granted.

2. He doesn’t judge. Luke loves people for who they are. He looks past their faults and celebrates their talents.

1. He’s a good great person. So kind. So thoughtful. So loving. There’s not much more to it than that.

I am SO LUCKY.

Happy 28th birthday Luke! Eat lots of fruit pizza, read lots of books and get ready to receive the biggest hug and kiss in your 28 years from me tomorrow. I love you!