Last night I grabbed some dinner with a couple friends and we got onto the topic of setting boundaries in relationships.

One of my friends is in a new long-distance relationship that’s going fabulously. They’ve been taking turns visiting each other and the time spent has been wonderful.

The guy is moving to Chicago soon and while she’s elated to have him so close,  she’s worried about how their relationship will change once they can see each other whenever they want. She doesn’t want to become one of “those” girls.

You know how it goes…girl has a full life with hobbies and friends….girl meets guy….girl falls in love with guy….guy takes over girls entire life….girl ignores her friends and stops doing things she once loved….guy dumps girl because she’s too needy.

It’s a sad cycle that I’ve seen happen to too many great girls! I applaud my friend for realizing that she doesn’t want her relationship to take a turn towards constant-togetherness.

When Luke and I were dating we made a concerted effort to support each other’s separate interests. On average, we’d see each other 3-4 times per week, which seems like a lot when I type it, but is pretty average/ low compared to other relationships I’ve been around.

We would rotate seeing our friends separately and together- making sure that when we were “together” we weren’t making our friends uncomfortable with excessive PDA. We also kept doing the things we loved, like play volleyball or rock climb, before we become a couple.

I know, I know….good for you Liz! The point, I tell my girlfriends,  is that the reason these guys are attracted to you in the first place is because you’re interesting, have tons of friends and have built a full, complete life on your own.

When he sees that you start losing that independence, ignoring your friends, avoiding things that make you YOU, then he feels overly depended-upon and ultimately annoyed that your happiness is so wrapped up in him.

I think when it comes to a new relationship, although it can be tempting to spend every moment together, you’re better off setting some boundaries. It will help make the moments you have together even more special!

What do you think? How often do you guys see your significant other? What interests have you kept up outside your relationship? Do you think I’m full of it and it’s completely ok to spend 24/7 with your love?

Hey guys- how is your week going? It’s been a hectic one here already…so many meetings at work!

This past weekend Luke and I had a really nice time in Chicago. It was one of those perfect summer weekends with the right mix of relaxing time and fun with friends.

On Friday, we stayed in and made rack of lamb with a Merlot fig sauce. I was trying to channel the rack of lamp recipe inspired from the movie How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days, but was disappointed in the amount of time it took to cook everything.

Luckily it all tasted yummy once I got over having spent 2 hours cooking! Not quite Sunday Supper Series worthy though.

Saturday morning I awoke to a missing husband and a note explaining that he’d gone rock climbing with his brother. So I decided to join my friend Kaycie who was lounging at the East Bank Club pool (an exclusive club here in Chicago).

We had a great time basking in the sun, talking about the new love in her life and gawking at the number of surgically altered women in high heels that surrounded us. It was definitely a scene!

After taking a glorious three-hour nap post-pool, I got my dancing shoes ready for a going away party for a dear friend of ours. He’s moving to Nigeria of all places to do some great work for the Clinton Foundation. Isn’t that cool, or what?

I wanted to make sure he remembered his last night out in Chicago, so I busted out some of the most ridiculous dance-moves in my repertoire in his honor at The Crocodile. Don’t worry, I didn’t embarrass myself too much because everyone else in our crew was participating in the dance-off as well. It was so fun!

On Sunday, we went to a new brunch place nearby called Yolk, which we were really impressed by. We got the Hey Ricky! omelet that consisted of egg (duh), chorizo, avocado, jalapeno, sour cream, cheese and salsa. It was YUMMY!

After brunch, we went for a walk by the lake and discovered a new walking path that had an amazing view of the city. This isn’t exactly the view (we forgot the camera) but it’s close.

Pretty right? It’s sunny days with views like this that remind me why I love Chicago so much.

What did you guys do this weekend? Hope it was a good one for you!

I was sitting at my computer contemplating what to write about today and my mind was a complete blank.

OK….lets think….what is going on in your life that you’re excited to share, Liz?

UM….?

Truth is, there’s really not much going on that I feel motivated to tell you guys about. Lately I’ve been feeling in a bit of a standstill. Work is the same, my relationships are the same, weekends are the same…I’m craving something different!

Don’t get me wrong, life is great, but it’s just feeling a little monotonous lately. I don’t get excited about the things I used to. I’m feeling like I need to evolve in some way. Quarter life crisis?

This weekend for example, I met up with two of my girlfriends to attend the Taste of Lincoln street festival, historically my favorite summer fest. We knew a friend working a tent who could get us drinks, it was a beautiful night and a good band was playing. Sounds like a great time, right?

In the middle of the party, one of my friends and I were yelling at each other over the music, drinking our luke-warm beer, watching intoxicated people act stupid when we both realized that what used to be a highlight of our summers was now just…sort of…boring.

It’s official. I need to switch up my routine and start doing some new things! What I enjoyed two years ago just isn’t cutting it anymore. Now I just have to figure out what WILL be fun and get my friends to agree with me!

How do you guys shake things up when you’re feeling in a rut?

Being married to a traveling man isn’t always fun. This week Luke is in San Francisco working on a project that will likely keep him on the road for several weeks. It’s the first time we’ve been apart since getting married, and I don’t like it one bit!

I joke that Luke tricked me into falling for him. See, the first year we were together he didn’t travel once. I thought I had a great guy who would always be around whenever I wanted to hang out.

That was until he smacked me with the news that he was put on a job in….TEL AVIV, ISRAEL and would be gone for two months straight. Waaaaa??? Say it isn’t so!

I was really worried about what would happen to our relationship while he was gone, but it ended up being a good thing because it forced us to evaluate how we felt about each other and talk about how committed we wanted to be to our relationship.

Luckily we both felt the same way and decided to stay together while he was gone. Right before he left, we said “I love you” for the first time.

While it can be hard when Luke is gone traveling for work, it’s helped me become independent and more sociable with friends. I know how important it is for me to maintain interests and hobbies to keep me busy and happy while he’s away.

I think maintaining a full life with friends and activities, some of which we share and some we do alone, is what makes us both happy and ultimately attracted to each other. I think our friends appreciate that we’re not tied to each other all the time too. Sometimes you just need to hang with the girls!

Of course, when he walks in the door on Friday I’ll have a weeks worth of hugs saved up for him. :)

How do you guys maintain your independence in relationships?