The Man Rules

My mom sent me this forward and it made me laugh. These are supposedly the rules men live by and would like women to understand.

 

  1. Men are NOT mind readers (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
  2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  3. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon. Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  4. Crying is blackmail.
  5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  7. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
  9. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
  10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one.
  11. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
  12. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
  14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
  15. IF IT ITCHES, it will be scratched. We do that.
  16. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  17. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
  19. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or hockey.
  20. You have enough clothes.
  21. You have too many shoes.
  22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

Men are funny.

8 thoughts on “The Man Rules

  1. techtechniqueHi again,I’ve come from the RDMIUI version, having been a big fan of MIUI_AU on my old Desire I wanted to try your offering.However after doing a full wipe and flashing your ROM the system continually shows the message: Unfortunately, Phone has stopped.Naturally I have flashed boot.img prior to blowing in the ROM and have tried three times, each with the same result.Have I missed something?

  2. Field,While listening to Mizz Sarah's speech today, I felt like I was listening to a stand-up comedian. That's the way her presentation came across to me. That might be what attracts some ppl to her. I don't think that Nascar Joe & Jane care what her positions are on issues, they just want an attractive V.P. who they think can relate to them.

  3. , “At this point, I don’t care. If you had asked me that a few years ago, maybe, but at this point I don’t really care. I’m only about winning, and the guys in the locker room know what I am about. That’s all that really matters.”Instead, it was Smith’s teammates who showed some attitude in their quarterback’s honor. Said left tackle Joe Staley of the Cardinals’ strategy: “They wanted to put the ball in Alex’s hands and have him beat them. And he kicked their a—- today.”Yeah. I want the Grumpster on the TEAM………………

  4. I would hope that philanthropists come to a point where they stop thinking risk v. transparency and instead recognize the 'risk' inherent in lack of transparency. Transparency should be understood by foundations as an opportunity to share the thinking (or lack thereof) around their individual investments/theories of change/metrics/ and to create learning for both funders and non-profits working in similar spaces.

  5. The actual pessimist complains regarding the wind turbine; the actual optimist desires them to switch; as well as realist tunes the actual sails. We have to acknowledge specific failure, yet we should never eliminate limitless anticipation.VA:F [1.6.5_908]please wait…VA:F [1.6.5_908](from 0 votes)

  6. men are so similar all over the world..
    the most irritating and funny thing
    When I said “NO”! and my Tomek said: Sweetheart “no” means “YES” today?.. :-)

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