When I was a little girl, people would often ask me what I wanted to be when I got older. Depending on my age or interests, the responses varied – an actress on broadway, a professional volleyball player, a city girl living in NYC. One response that always stayed with me though was … “I want to be a mom.”
I’ve just always known that motherhood was the key to unlocking my full happiness. Something about the notion of having someone to love and care for, who will love me completely as well felt right in my heart. I couldn’t wait to see what my kids would look like, what their personalities would be and who they’d grow into.
The day we brought Lila home from the hospital was one I will always remember. I took her down to her nursery to show her the tree, crib and pictures we had lovingly hung for her. Then I sat in the rocking chair, held her to my chest and began to sing a lullabye.
“A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartache. Whatever you wish for you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come shining through…”
I couldn’t quite finish before I choked up and began to cry. It dawned on me as I was singing this song to my sweet newborn baby that my dream had in fact come true … I was a mommy.
Since then, motherhood has been everything I dreamt it would be and so much more. I’ve said this here before, but just being around Lila fills me with happiness. Before her I felt like I was constantly looking for the next thing … a new home, a new city, a new job . But now that she’s here I feel completely content.
Mother’s Day this year – my first as a mother – was another special day (one of so many this year). I spent the day with Luke and Lila. Taking it slow. Enjoying food together. And ending with me carrying a sleeping Lila to bed. It was lovely.
Of all the dreams I have for myself in this lifetime, the most important to me is to be the best mommy I can and to cherish the simple moments with my family. Even if I do nothing else besides be a good mother, I will leave this world fulfilled and at peace.
I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day!