I’ve been feeling guilty about not blogging here as much lately. I have had so many great things going on in my life that I mean to share here, but to be honest I’ve felt a little weighed down by our fertility journey.

It’s not that I am not enjoying all the good, like trips to Florida, planting a garden with Lila and celebrating 5 years being married to Luke, but it’s just that there feels like a heaviness in my heart that I carry. It’s hard for me to write from a happy, cheerful perspective and I also don’t want to get mired down either.

So I’ve been keeping to myself a bit and writing when I feel especially inspired. I hope you understand and stick around.

I will share a little update on our journey for those interested.

We started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist in March and I’m so thankful that we did because this doctor was able to diagnose my issue in the first visit. During an ultrasound, he noticed there was something abnormal in my uterus. Most likely a benign polyp or fibroid.

The good news is that it is relatively easy to remove. I will have surgery next week to clear it out. I am grateful we found this because polyps or fibroids cause infertility by blocking implantation. I had no typical symptoms, like heavy bleeding or painful periods, so we could have gone on and on trying without catching this.

These growths are caused by hormone fluctuations, so I’m thinking what most likely happened is that my miscarriage and the wild swing in hormones triggered this issue. But who really knows.

We are hopeful that this is my only issue and that my fertility will be back to normal post surgery. We meet with the doctor on Wednesday to get more information pre-surgery, but from what I’ve read online, you can start trying again the next cycle.

Throughout this journey, I’ve learned so much about myself, my relationships and my health. We are so hopeful that this long, sad process will be behind us soon. I appreciate all the prayers and support from our friends and family.

In the meantime, I’m keeping busy with work, gardening and loving on Lila. I have not lost sight of all the blessings in my life and am working to kick this rain cloud out of my heart. Here are some photos from the past few weeks that have made me smile.