Category Archives: Kids

Dear Lila: You’re 20 Months Old!

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by

Dear Lila,

Tomorrow you turn 20 months old. It’s late and I should be in bed asleep, but I wanted to get down on my blog how I feel right in this exact moment thinking about you as a 20 month old.

20 months old

Today was one of those typical stay at home mom days. We had eggs and yogurt for breakfast (you ate FOUR eggs!), then we went to the park (I pushed you on the swing for a good 20 minutes). After your nap, we went next door and played with the neighbor kids. There were ups, like our dance party in the living room, and downs, like when you cried when I said it was time to leave the park. Just a normal day.

And yet tonight when I think back on our day together, I’m filled with such an immense amount of love for you. I so enjoy our simple days together. We have such fun on our little adventures, and I have never felt such peace, contentment and JOY than when I’m spending a completely ordinary day with you.

Oh my goodness you are so much fun right now. The other night at dinner you, me, daddy and Mimi were sitting around the kitchen table singing “patty cake.” You got the hang of rolling your arms during the “rollll it” part and at the end of each verse you’d cheer “yaaaaaay!!!” and clap your hands. Of course we were all smiling and laughing right along with you.

You finally have let me cuddle you a bit. Your mommy loves to cuddle and until now you have been more like your daddy – very independent and no hugging please! Lately though, you will rest your head on my should for short bits of time, run up to me and give me a big hug or my favorite, let me hold you very tight before bed when we sing “twinkle twinkle” by your crib. I love burying my face in your sweet smelling hair and closing my eyes to savor the moment.

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You still eat like a grown man. Seriously, you out-eat your dad occasionally. You favorites are eggs, sauerkraut, plums, peaches and popsicles. I make popsicles for you at home using coconut water or as you call it “coco,” mashed up berries and a little orange juice. The other day, you ate three popsicles right in a row (Daddy was watching you).

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I am amazed every day by what new things you can do or how your understanding of the world increases. This morning you were playing in my closet while I got ready to go to the park and I said “Lila, can you bring me my tennis shoes?” You immediately picked my tennis shoes out of 10 pairs of shoes and brought them to me saying “shoo shoo!”

Speaking of shoes, you are sort of obsessed with yours, mine, dads … any one’s shoes! You will point to dad’s sandals and say “Is dada’s shoo!” while you try to put it on. When I get you dressed in the morning, it always takes the longest for you to pick out and approve of what shoes you are wearing that day. I love that one minute you’re proud of your shoe collection and the next you’re throwing dirt.

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After a month or more of living in Ohio, I must say, I think you like it here. Between seeing both sets of your grandparents, having both mommy and daddy home all week and playing with your cousin Reagan and friends Liam, baby Harrison and the neighbors regularly, I marvel at how happy you seem lately. You are an Ohio girl just like your mama.

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I think about how fast you’re growing and how soon you’ll be a full fledged little girl. I tell daddy, “I hope as she grows up that she’ll continue to want to be around me.” I know that sounds a little silly and that there will likely be some years where you’ll prefer your friends over me, but please know my little Lila, I will ALWAYS enjoy being around you. Even when you’re angry, sad or mad at me, being will you will still be my favorite way to spend a day.

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Love,

Mom

Learning to Say Yes

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by

So lately I’ve been trying on a new parenting approach. I guess you could call it somewhat permissive, lax, free-flowing – all scary words in the world of parenting, I know!

yes quote

It came about after reading this blog post from Janet Lansbury about the power of acknowledging our child’s perspective. It got me thinking about what Lila’s world must feel like. She has about 20 words, but can’t yet communicate all she wants. She is starting to flex her independent spirit, yet still wants on hand firmly planted around my finger. She is learning about the world with an insatiable curiosity, but doesn’t know it’s limits yet.

Sounds like a pretty confusing and frustrating place to be, right?

I decided to take a few days to really hone in on my observation skills to see what was causing her frustration and how I could help. I watched her in her play and interactions with people – especially with her main care-giver, me. It became clear rather quickly that her moments of big frustration were usually after being told “no,” or having something taken away, or not being able to do something she wants. Pretty normal.

But I also noticed that I was saying no to her a lot (not the actual word, but the intention). “We’re not going to do bubbles right now, I’m folding laundry” “I can’t let you play with my makeup, it will make a mess.” “Please don’t put your hands in the dirt.” “Don’t pick that up off the ground, that’s yucky.” In fact, when I thought back on one ten minute period, I had essentially told her “no” eight different times. Eep!

I realized too that while many of my “no’s” were totally necessary, others were more MY opinion or desire for how I thought our day should go and weren’t necessarily needed. I mean there really isn’t a reason I can’t put the laundry aside for a minute to blow bubbles out on the deck, right?

I decided to start giving Lila as many “yeses” as I could. As long as it wasn’t something that could be a safety issue or be so annoying as to make me lose my cool, then I am trying to go with it. And so far, my quest to say yes has taken us on some fun adventures.

You want to take your shoes off and put your feet in the lake? You want to taste the sand? OK!

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Sure, you can try eating your smoothie yourself with a spoon. It’ll make a mess, but that’s ok.

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You want to try climbing this ladder by yourself? Let’s go for it. (she made it to the top on the first try!)

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Running in the dirt? Why not!

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I think having more yes in her life has helped Lila deal better with the necessary nos. Giving her a little more control over her decisions, actions and feelings has cut down on her frustrations while also building her confidence as a little decision-maker.

And it’s also taught me a good lesson … how to look on the bright side and be open to the “yes” moments in life.

Dear Lila: You’re 15 Months!

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Dear Lila,

It makes me sad to say it, but you are no longer a baby. It seems like overnight you have morphed into a full-fledged toddler – and I must admit, I love it! Every where I take you people ask “how old is she?” and when I proudly respond that you are 15 months, they always say “she is soooo cute!”

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You finally started letting me do your hair without yanking the hair tie out immediately. You have really thick hair, but it’s grown in at different paces, so pony tails take some finesse on my part. It seems like once you have your hair up you suddenly morph into a little girl vs a baby.

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Your language has exploded and you are talking a ton. Doggie, woof woof, mommy, dada, baby, milk, bye bye and yes are all some of your many words, but your favorite word? “NO!” Yes I couldn’t believe it when you started with the NO’s because we don’t really say that a lot, but you figured it out and like to let your will be known!

Of course, out of all your words, “Mama” is my favorite.

You mastered walking last month and now happily toddle along. You are getting more and more confident on your feet and have even started walking down stairs at the park. You are still a big climber and will often use random objects, like the laundry basket, to get some leverage to climb higher and higher.

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I take you to the park pretty much every day so you can enjoy the outdoors. You like to swing, climb, slide, eat grass (when mom’s not looking), but once you spot a dog, you have a one-track mind to PET. THAT. DOG! You’ll say “dodee, dodee!” or “Woof woof!” as you walk over to pet it. (here you are with Aunt Amy petting a dodee)

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Now that you’re older and talking, it’s been so fun for us to have “conversations” with you. Last night we went out to get Mexican food and on the way home I asked you “Lila, did you like your dinner?” You said “Yeah!” Then 10 minutes later I asked you the same question and you said “No!” I guess you must have changed your mind? :)

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Every day with you gets more and more interesting little bug. You are growing up right before our eyes and it’s just the best thing I have ever seen. You’re our independent, confident, curious, happy girl and we love you to bits.

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Love,

Mommy

 

The Downside of Weaning

Posted in Kids, Liz's Life by

When Lila turned one, we officially began the process of weaning. At that point she was still nursing five times a day, but thankfully took cows milk well. I began to slowly eliminate one feeding a week and replacing it with a bottle.

While pregnant with Lila, I wasn’t afraid of labor or delivery, or the changes to my body, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to nurse. I had heard a lot of horror stories and almost thought it was inevitable that I wouldn’t be able to do it. I am so grateful that we established a good feeding routine and went an entire year exclusively breastfeeding (with food of course).

But alas, after sharing my body with Lila during pregnancy and then a year of breastfeeding, I was ready to be done. Plus nursing Lila wasn’t really the blissed out experience many mothers talk about. She is not the type of baby to lie calmly in my arms, so there was a lot of kicking, trying to stand, arms flailing … lets just say it wasn’t all that relaxing.

After some hiccups in our weaning journey (a cold and three new molars), we are officially down to just morning and night. This week I am planning to drop the night feeding and then a couple weeks later, stop altogether.

I wish I could say weaning has been a positive experience for me, but the more I eliminate feedings, the worse I feel. I started getting daily headaches from 2pm – 4pm, I feel utterly exhausted most of the day, despite getting 8+ hours of sleep and I’ve had bouts of anxiety and sadness.

It took me awhile to connect the dots that this was related to weaning, but after doing some research, it turns out all these symptoms are a result of the change in hormones brought on by stopping breastfeeding. Specifically, the drop in oxytocin – the “love” hormone. Apparently, postpartum depression and weaning are closely linked – who knew?

I have good days and bad days. Today I would rate as a bad one. I got a sitter so I could do some client work, but instead I’m laying in bed moping. I’m hoping that once we’re totally done nursing, that everything will balance out quickly so I can get back to normal.

It makes me sort of sad that something I worked so hard at (breastfeeding) and brought so much good to Lila has to end on this negative note. But regardless of how I feel these next few months (and with future babies) I’m determined to look back on my breastfeeding days as a positive experience that got my little loves off to a great start.

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