A Sick Little Bug

Posted in Kids, Lila by Liz

My little Lila is sick. She had the symptoms of a stomach bug the past few days, but it was intermittent. Friday night she vomited while we were out for a date night, but then was fine all day Saturday and Sunday. She seemed in a great mood and not sick at all.

Then this morning, while she was having her milk, she vomited all over the place. Since then she’s vomited four more times and hasn’t been able to keep milk down at all. She also had two very messy diapers.

I called her doctor and he suggested Pedialite or some other drink that has electrolytes to help with the dehydration. The only thing we had at home was some coconut water, but I remembered I had read that it was an excellent rehydration drink, so I gave her some in a bottle. So far she’s successfully kept that down.

Thank goodness too because the doctor said I’d have to take her to the ER for an IV and possibly an overnight stay if she couldn’t keep anything down. I can just imagine how traumatizing it would be for her to be poked and prodded in a high-stress environment like a hospital ER.

She got sleepy right after drinking about three ounces of the coconut water, so I put her in her crib and she went to sleep without so much as a whimper. She’s sleeping now as I write this.

This is really the first time Lila has been sick. She’s had a few minor colds or runny noses, but this is full on. It’s a truly awful thing to watch your precious baby vomit uncontrollably. The look in her eyes says “why is this happening to me and why aren’t you stopping it, mommy?!”

The best I can do is sit her upright, rub her back and try to soothe her. As a parent, your duty is to protect your child, so when they’re sick you feel totally helpless.

Part of my motivation for keeping this blog up is so Lila has a record of her childhood from my perspective. And who knows, maybe one day she’ll have her own sick baby at home and feel comforted reading about how her mom went through the same thing.

Any advice or encouragement you have to share for comforting a baby with the flu would be appreciated.

13Oct2013

No Wrong Way

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by Liz

If there’s one thing I’ve learned so far about motherhood it’s that every baby is different and no one thing is a solution for EVERY baby.

Before Lila was born I did my research and felt strongly that I would “do” certain things as a mom. I was excited to wear her in a sling next to my body, have her sleep in a co-sleeper in between us and cuddle with her on the couch. Well none of that panned out the way I thought.

When I put her in my Moby Wrap, she immediately squirmed and screamed. When we had her in her co-sleeper in our bed, she awoke with every shift we made, leaving us all exhausted. When I tried to cuddle her, she pushed off me, eager to explore her world.

See, what I didn’t realize when I made my mommy plans was that Lila was not going to be some object for me to “do” things to and/or for. Rather she is her own person with her own desires, and she will definitely going to let me know what she liked and disliked!

I began to understand that my job was to toss out my preconceived notions about how to be a mother and instead observe Lila so I could learn about her, understand her and care for her in a way she liked. Once I started to do this, I stopped feeling frustrated that I couldn’t “get her” to do things the way I had planned and started enjoying the new directions she took me in.

Instead of wearing her in a wrap, I gave her freedom to explore her world on a blanket. Instead of having her sleep in our room, I enjoyed the restful nights sleep we all got once she was in her own crib. Instead of days spent cuddling, I watched with a smile as my curious girl inspected every little detail of her environment.

And the beauty in all this? The way we did it is not “the” way. It’s just what worked for us. It was how Lila taught me how to help her blossom. Some other baby may get this same confidence by being in a sling or sleeping next to his/her parents.

I guess the point of this post is to tell other moms that just because someone is adamant that their way is the best, it doesn’t mean it’s best for ALL babies and it certainly doesn’t mean you should feel guilty for doing something different. You know your children better than anyone, and once you give up on the quest to perfect parenting, you’ll be surprised at how clearly they are telling you what they needs.

They say being a parent is an adventure, and so far I’m loving the new discoveries I’m making each day about how to best be Lila’s mom.

1Oct2013

Flying Solo

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by Liz

Last week Luke had to go on an extended work trip to Mexico, so Lila and I decided to make the trip back to the midwest to visit both my and Luke’s families. It was an ambitious undertaking for one parent, but one I felt was worth it to get some time with family.

They were loooong travel days – one four-hour flight, a three-hour layover and then another one-hour flight, but Lila did really well on both legs. On the way there we were lucky to get a whole row to ourselves, so she could crawl around, and on the way back, we sat with another mom and her baby, so they entertained each other. During our layovers I let her do lots of crawling around at the O’Hare Airport Children’s Museum. She also took some good naps.

When we finally arrived at my parent’s house in Ohio, I was ready for a break! I was expecting to be able to enlist my parent’s help watching her so I could clean up and rest, but Lila wasn’t having it. She clung to me and cried whenever I walked out of the room or someone else held her.

This separation/stranger anxiety continued throughout the week and only got slightly better when I was completely unavailable to her, like when Luke’s mom took her for a walk while I was doing some work calls in my room.

While I have to admit it was exhausting and at times frustrating to not get a break much of the week, I can’t say I really blame her. A three hour time change, whole new environment and lots of new people would set any 10 month old into an anxious state. On top of that, she cut two teeth while we were there!

Plus it was pretty sweet how her whole face would light up, arms would flap and she’s crawl over to me every time I entered a room.

The only part that made me sort of sad though, was that our families – whom we don’t get to see often – didn’t get to experience the sweet, independent, outgoing Lila I know. I really wanted them to see who she is and for Lila to feel comfortable around the people who love her most.

I guess that will just take some time. My job now is to support her and help her build trust in her autonomy. I have no doubts she’ll outgrow her anxiety and learn to feel secure that Mommy and Daddy will always return.

And even though she struggled at times, we still managed to make lots of sweet memories with my family in Ohio and Luke’s in Indiana. Here are some photos from the trip, starting with our visit to Luke’s parent’s house in Indiana and then some with my family and Lila’s cousins in Ohio.

Nothing makes me happier than being with the people I love. And seeing how much they love Lila brings a smile to my face. Even though a cross-country solo trip with a clingy babe isn’t always fun, it’s worth it so Lila understands just special her family is.

Special thanks to my brother Nick, brother-in-law Mike and MIL Felicia for snapping a lot of these photos while I was busy holding Lila!

10Sep2013

Missing Mommy

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by Liz

Recovering from sinus surgery has not been enjoyable to say the least. I got home the Friday before Labor Day from surgery and was pretty out of it for the rest of the weekend. I bled quite a bit and until they took the splints out, pretty much couldn’t breathe out of my nose. Not fun.

During my recovery weekend, Luke was pretty much sole caregiver for Lila. He also took on the role of being my nurse, so he was pretty busy. I knew it might be a bit of a shock for Lila that I suddenly wasn’t with her as much and had a bandage across my face, but I wasn’t really expecting her to notice too much.

Well once again I underestimated my little girl and how perceptive she is of her world. She did alright with just her dad (plus some nursing visits with mom) for most the weekend, but come Sunday, she had had enough. When she woke up from her afternoon nap and saw that daddy, not mommy, was getting her once again, she lost it.

I could hear her wailing from my room while Luke tried to calm her down. She never cries waking up from a nap, so this was odd. I came out a few minutes later and thought she just wanted some milk. I tried to get her to nurse, but she was not having it. She kept hitting me and arching her back.

I was starting to feel helpless when I remembered something I’ve learned from researching RIE parenting – that sometimes kids just need to express their sad, angry or other negative feelings with our loving presence and nothing more. I decided to just hold her and let her get her tears out without trying to stop her from feeling upset. She sobbed in my arms for a good half hour, throwing her head back and slamming her arms down, before calming down.

When she quieted and rested her head against my chest, I told her “It’s okay to be sad because I haven’t been around as much. I know it’s scary for you to see me hurting. I’ll be better soon and will always be here for you.” I know she probably didn’t understand all of what I was saying, but getting her emotions out and hearing the validation from me seemed to resolve her anxiety.

I spent the afternoon sitting on the couch while she played nearby, giving her smiles when she’d look over at me. She sat in my lap quite a bit too and just wanting to be near me.

It’s been about a week and a half since surgery and I’m much, much better. I can breathe easier, there’s no more bleeding and I’m just a bit congested. Lila is doing better too. Things are back to normal in her world, which means she gets all the mommy time she wants.

If you’re interested in RIE parenting, I’d suggest checking out these blogs:

http://www.janetlansbury.com/

http://www.regardingbaby.org/

http://tongonto.com/

http://peacefulparentsconfidentkids.wordpress.com/