Dear Boys, You’re Four Years Old!

Dear Whitaker and Davis,

A few weeks ago you guys turned four years old! We had grand plans to throw you a big birthday party with a magician, but the coronavirus pandemic foiled our plans. Instead, after 56 days of isolating at home, we decided it was safe enough to spend your birthday with Grammie and Gramps.

You both were SO HAPPY to be out of the house visiting your grandparents. They as usual made the visit lovely for you, with special toys laid out all around the house, big wheels in the garage and all your favorite foods ready. I was so relived to see both of your happy, sweet spirits return while we were there. At one point, Davis, you said “I’m so happy here.”

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The morning of your birthday, you woke up (Davis at 2:45 am from excitement!) to gifts, cake, balloons and transformer decorations, because if there’s one thing to know about you right now, it’s that you LOVE transformers! We ate a breakfast of cinnamon rolls, eggs, bacon and fruit before you tore into your presents (surprise! More transformers).

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It was a great end to your third year. Honestly, three has been a tricky year for you guys in many ways. A new sibling joining the family, starting school, then your beloved preschool teacher abruptly leaving and finally a global pandemic completely halting your life. So many big changes happened this year, that any one would struggle with, let alone a little three year old.

Three is a big year already with a lot of milestones. You both became more independent, yet still wanted to be little. In fact leading up to your fourth birthday, Whitaker, you asked me “Do I have to become a big guy on my birthday?” I reassured you that you have a lot more years as a “little guy” before the pressure of growing up is upon you.

Despite all the changes, one thing remained consistent this year, and that is your brotherly bond. I feel bad at times that I group you two together (like writing you one blog post vs two separate), but in reality you two are still very much a package deal. You love being together, playing transformers for hours. When I try to do “special time” with you separately, you both ask where the other one is and why did I leave them at home!?

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Although you’ve got that amazing twin bond going on, you both are very different in many ways.

Davis, you are our little builder. You love playing with legos, connecting blocks and other toys that require you to use your imagination to build something. I think that’s why you love transformers so much, because you can use your hands to change and morph them into something new. Your focus and concentration amazes me – you already can complete transformers that are 20+ steps meant for 10 year olds.

IMG_4696You are still my sweet snuggler and are content to lay with me watching a show (usually transformers). It absolutely melts my heart when you let me hold you, because your siblings are far too active for that. I will miss that time together so much when you get older and don’t want your mommy as much.

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I’ve realized this year that you are far more sensitive than I ever thought. You pick up on things that other kids are oblivious to. No small detail passes you by. You are the kid stopping to notice the roughness of the tree bark, or the feather underneath the grass.

This also has meant you have stronger emotions to things like the coronavirus. You ask me a lot about the virus, when it will end and why you can’t go to school or go to all the places you love. While my heart hurts seeing you struggle with these big feelings, I know this sensitivity will be an amazing asset for you as you grow up. You’ll be the man who is a empathetic husband, father and friend.

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Whitaker you have grown up so much this past year and yet in many ways are still my baby boy. You enjoy your creature comforts and honestly find the whole school thing a little bit uncomfortable. Pretty much every day you would cling to us at drop off and start your day crying a bit. The teachers assured us that you warmed up quickly, but let’s just say the stay at home order from the pandemic was a welcome change from you!

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You are such a BOY it’s almost funny. My friends laugh at all my Instagram stories showing you scaling some part of our furniture, making giant messes or just being your loud, boisterous self. Before having boys, I thought all that gender stuff was mostly conditioning, but you have shown me that it can be absolutely just inherent!


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You are a strong little guy and have such coordination. Before your fourth birthday you were riding a bike without training wheels. I can see a future in athletics for you for sure. Beyond your physicality, you also love playing transformers with Davis. You love making up little story lines and I’ll often hear you mumbling to yourself followed by a “blast! blast!”

 

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Oh and if you can’t tell by these photos, you spent most of your third year of life naked! lol. You definitely make your preferences known and can be extremely persistent in what you want. This will serve you well later in life when you won’t let yourself be peer pressured. I have a feeling you’ll be the person who always knows what they want in life.

I am so excited to see what this year brings for both of you. If your experience is anything like your sisters, I think you’ll love being four. For her things just sort of “clicked” shortly after her fourth birthday and life for everyone got a lot easier.

My hope for both of you this year is that you know how much you are loved and that no matter what challenges come your way, you are capable of overcoming them. You’ll have your family cheering you on every step of the way.

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We love you both so much and are so glad we get to watch you both grow up together.

XO,

Mommy

 

Alden’s Birth Story – a Successful VBA2C

Our fourth baby made his arrival on his due date – December 10 at 8:54 am. He weighed in at a hefty 9 lbs 12 oz and has a TON of hair. We’ve been home for a few weeks and are all settling in with our new little love.

Baby Alden

We named him Alden Roy. Alden means “old, wise friend” and Roy is after Luke’s maternal grandfather – the person who sparked his love of golf and so much more. So far he’s been a super sweet baby and perfect addition to our family.

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I like to document each kids birth story so I can remember the details of each day. We usually will read their birth story to them on their birthdays. They love hearing all the ups and downs of their original birth days.

Alden’s begins at 36 weeks pregnant. I had already had two c-sections, Lila’s because she was a surprise breech after laboring to 8 cm, and the boys at 34 weeks because I had preeclampsia. My doctor and I had already set a scheduled c-section date and I had just figured “that was that.”

Until my intuition told me to at least look up the options for having a vaginal delivery after two c-sections. I was surprised to learn that the risk of uterine rupture after two csections was only 1.36% and that more than 80% of women who do a trial of labor are successful in having a vaginal birth.

I brought this information up to my doctor at my 36 week appointment, expecting her to shut me down, but I was surprised by how open she was to discussing doing a vbac. We decided to take the last few weeks of my pregnancy week by week to see how things were going. At each appointment thereafter she became more and more optimistic about my having a vbac, until we actually cancelled my scheduled csection.

At 38 weeks I began having a lot of contractions, but they would always peter out. Then at my 39 week appointment, I was frustrated to learn I was not dilated at all. I began to second guess myself and got quite discouraged about being able to pull a vbac off.

I knew I had to go into labor on my own (you cannot induce with a vbac because it’s too hard on the uterus) and was starting to wonder if I would ever have this baby! On his due date, I decided to try what worked to start labor with Lila – spicy thai food. :)

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After dinner I went to bed feeling nothing. Around 12:30 am I was awakened with a strong, painful contraction. I didn’t think much of it because I had been having contractions for weeks. I laid in bed and timed the contractions, but they were only every 10-15 minutes so I tried to go back to sleep.

Over the next two hours the contraction became more regular and stronger, so I woke Luke up and called my mom to come over. As I hung up with my mom, I felt a POP and knew my water had broken. I ran to the shower and told Luke to pack our stuff up. I knew from my experience having my water break with Lila that labor was about to start for real.

Sure enough by the time we drove the 15 minute drive from our house to the hospital, I had had 10 contractions in the car. Originally my plan was to labor in the car outside the hospital for a bit because my doctor told me if I arrived not progressed much, my chances of a vbac would be lower. But when we arrived I knew I needed to go in. The contractions were every 3 minutes and painful enough I could not talk through them.

I’m so glad I went in when I did because it took THREE HOURS before I was given an epidural. That entire time I was having strong contractions about every 1-1.5 minutes apart. It felt like I was never able to get a break.

I went into the hospital expecting to have to fight for my wishes to have a vbac, but was surprised by how positive and accepting everyone was. The intake nurses didn’t bat an eye when I told them I’d had two csections already and the L&D nurse really didn’t even mention it.

I was also ecstatic to learn my doctor was at the hospital! She is part of a 10 doctor practice and is only there one night a week, so I was expecting to have a doctor I didn’t know, which would just complicate the whole situation further. Having her there helped me feel at ease and safe.

Any way, when I first arrived, they confirmed that my water did break. Then they checked me and I was only 3 CM dilated. I was discouraged at first, but kept reminding myself that I dilated from zero to 8 cm in five hours with Lila. And by the strength of my contractions, my body clearly knew what to do.

I had to wait what seemed like forever to get my epidural because I had high blood pressure when I arrived. Since I had a history of preeclampsia with the boys, they had to check some blood work before anesthesia would see me. Waiting on the results felt like forever! I kept focusing on breathing through the contractions and letting my body take over, but I cannot lie – I was SO HAPPY to finally get the epidural. Once I was finally able to relax, the nurse brought me a popsicle to celebrate.

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My doctor then came in and said since she had been there all night, she was going to run home to shower and nap and would come back to deliver me. Since I was only 3cm at my last check, we assumed we had several more hours to go.

She decided to check me before she left to gauge how much time she had. When she lifted the sheet, her eyes went wide and she said “Well never mind! We’re having a baby now!” Apparently his head was nearly coming out and a tuft of dark hair was visible.

Twenty minutes later Alden was born. When he came out everyone kept saying “OH WOW he’s a big boy!!” I was expecting 8 lbs or so, but was shocked when he weighed at 9 lbs 12 oz. I mean Lila was full term and only 6 lbs 8 oz. Crazy.

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They laid him on my chest and I was … just in shock. I was overcome with emotion. Love for my baby, relief that he was born safely, admiration for my determination and JOY that I had done it!

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Both my doctor and I started crying “we did it!” We hugged over Alden and I told her “You are doing exactly what God intended you to do. You are SUCH an amazing doctor. Thank you.” She told me later that I was her first patient to ever do a VBA2C and that she was now “a believer.”

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After two stressful emergency c-sections, Alden’s birth was my redemption birth. I loved being able to be an active participant and to know that my body was capable and strong. I still love my csection births and am beyond grateful they helped bring my three other babies safely into the world, but I am also happy I got to have the powerful experience of a vaginal birth. It’s pretty cool to say I’ve experienced both sides, because truly ALL births are beautiful in their own way.

My recovery went a lot better than with my csections. I was in a lot of pain postpartum after my csections and with my VBAC, I was up and walking around hours later. I even felt up for having photos taken 48 hours later in the hospital. Our amazing sitter and photographer Brittany Anne Photography took them.

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I will say, the long term recovery was a bit slower than expected. I had a second degree tear that reopened two weeks post partum. I think mainly because I pushed it too hard and didn’t rest enough. It was hard to rest with all that comes with the Christmas season and three older kids. I’m four weeks out now though and finally feeling fully like myself.

Alden is likely our last baby, so it’s bittersweet to say I’ll never be pregnant or give birth again. It’s hard to feel sad though when I think about how perfectly his birth went. I will cherish this experience birthing my last baby forever.

Baby Alden

Baby Batman # 4

Our brood of little Batman’s is growing again! We are expecting our fourth baby at the beginning of December and are thrilled.


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I’ve always said I wanted four children and after the boys, just had a strong feeling that there was supposed to be one more in our family. Luke thankfully agreed and in January we decided to pursue getting pregnant.

Many of you already know our background, but in case others don’t, we conceived Lila easily, miscarried when she was 18 months old and then had unexplained secondary infertility. We tried for more than a year after my miscarriage with no luck and no real answers before pursuing fertility treatment, which led to conceiving twin boys, who are now three.

Since we had unexplained secondary infertility and no real medical reason why we couldn’t get pregnant, we decided to try on our own for awhile while also lining up next steps for treatment if it didn’t work. We met with our doctor in January and made plans to give it a go for six months on our own before getting help.

I started using the Ava bracelet to track my fertility closely. About three months into it, I went on a girls getaway to Mexico and kept joking with my friends that “maybe all I needed all along was a vacation!” The day after I got home, I tested without much anticipation and was shocked to see a very faint line.

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For my readers who have infertility, I wrote a separate post outlining what I was doing differently this time vs when we struggled. I don’t know if it contributed to our success, but I know I always wanted to know what changed for people.

Thankfully that line got darker as the days went on and by 5.5 weeks pregnant my typical morning sickness (all day sickness really) kicked in. And boy this first trimester was a doozy! My sickness was worse than even with the twins. I was dry heaving every 15 minutes and vomiting several times per day.

On top of the morning sickness, I came down with a horrid stomach virus at 7 weeks that lasted a full six day. Then almost immediately after that, I got bronchitis and laryngitis for another 7 days. I began to wonder how the baby could survive with how sick I was.

My doctor is amazing and worked to get my the right medicine support so I could be functional during the day and curb the vomiting so I could keep food down. At 10 weeks we confirmed the pregnancy and that there is just ONE healthy babe. I am 13 weeks now and still battle nausea every day – with it being worst at 4pm on, but am hopeful it will subside like my other pregnancies around 15 weeks.

The kids are all super excited about the baby in mommy’s tummy. Lila wants it to be a girl and the boys want it to be a boy (of course). We all agree that our already crazy house is going to be even more fun with a baby around.

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Thank you all for your well wishes and especially to my friends and family who supported me emotionally during this tough first trimester. We are so excited to meet this baby in December!

What Was Different This Time Around

I know a many of my reader have struggled with infertility in the past, so I wanted to share what I was doing differently this time around vs when we struggled to conceive. Keep in mind we had no diagnosed cause for our infertility, but I still wanted to share as a few friends have already asked.

Of course I’m not a doctor and this is not medical advice. Just my thoughts on what I think helped.

1. I used the Ava bracelet. My cycles were always very consistent even when we struggled, but the Ava helped me to see that I ovulate later than I thought – day 16/17 vs day 14/15.

2. About six months before we started trying I began to use natural progesterone cream in my luteal phase. This was after having symptoms of estrogen dominance – heavy, clotting periods, insomnia, breast tenderness and bad PMS. I researched and started using this OTC cream days after I ovulated. Within two months my symptoms pretty much disappeared including my year long battle with insomnia.

3. I was on the keto diet for 12 weeks prior to getting pregnant. I also remembered when I got pregnant quickly with Lila I was on a low carb paleo diet. I followed Mark Sisson’s Keto Reset plan and found the gradual ease into Keto to work very well for me. The keto diet is supposed to reduce inflammation, balance hormones and balance blood sugar. I actually did not lose ANY weight being keto, but clearly my body was working on healing other things!

4. The final thing that was different was that my stress level around TTC this time was very low compared to when we struggled. I was in an emotional nightmare then and this time I knew we had a backup plan, so I felt no anxiety or worry. I know they said stress doesn’t cause infertility, but when you read up on things like the pregnenolone steal, it’s hard to believe that emotional stress doesn’t play some role. During my TWW this time around I was relaxing with great friends in Mexico. One day we slept 11 hours and laid by the pool all day! My stress level was extremely low and I think it was to the benefit of my body.

Those are the main things I think were different this time around. Whether they affected my ability to get pregnant or not I’ll never know for sure, but I do know I entered this pregnancy feeling healthy and confident. I hope some of this info helps any of you out there looking for answers!