Tonight I am going to Vegas baby!! I’m meeting some of my best college girl friends there for a weekend of dancing, sunning and maybe some shopping. There’s something so fun about a weekend with just girls and I feel like I’m long overdue for some ladies time.
My excitement for this weekend has been spilling out of me the past few days…I’ve been telling coworkers, friends, family…even my hairdresser about our plans for Vegas. One thing has struck me while talking about it though – it seems like a lot of people ask if my husband is coming or if he’s “letting me go” without him. And when I say “it’s just girls,” they immediately give me wide eyes and say “your husband must be upset, huh?”
The feminist in me wanted to say – “What do you mean is he “letting me” go? And why would he care if I spent a weekend with my girlfriends?” But I’ve just been smiling and saying that he is supportive of me going with friends.
These conversations have made me wonder…. do more relationships involve asking for permission to do things and dealing with jealousy than those that are based on mutual respect and trust?
Last time I was in Vegas with girlfriends I couldn’t believe the number of angry phone calls they got from boyfriends back home demanding to know why they didn’t call when they got home from going out. Dude…it was 4am and they probably just wanted to sleep versus getting drilled with questions!!
I’m not sure if it’s because Luke and I have:
A) never ever given each other a reason NOT to trust one another (and never will)
B) that we’re both independent people and respect each other’s need for time with friends
C) that we aren’t prone to jealousy
but the thought of him getting upset about me spending a weekend in Vegas with friends never even crossed my mind (nor his for that matter). In fact, there was no “asking” him permission to go…it was more like I told him I was planning to go and made sure it worked with our schedule.
And when he went to Vegas for his bachelor party, he never once got a call from his fiance demanding to know where he was, what he was doing and who he was with. All I wanted to know was if he was having fun and how much money he won at the black jack tables. :)
So what is the deal with all the jealousy that seems to abound when couples travel apart? Does it all come down to a lack of trust? And if that’s the case, why would you be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust or who doesn’t trust you?