My mom sent me this forward and it made me laugh. These are supposedly the rules men live by and would like women to understand.
- Men are NOT mind readers (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
- Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon. Or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
- Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
- If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
- You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
- ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.
- IF IT ITCHES, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
- If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
- Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or hockey.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
Men are funny.