So lately I’ve been trying on a new parenting approach. I guess you could call it somewhat permissive, lax, free-flowing – all scary words in the world of parenting, I know!

It came about after reading this blog post from Janet Lansbury about the power of acknowledging our child’s perspective. It got me thinking about what Lila’s world must feel like. She has about 20 words, but can’t yet communicate all she wants. She is starting to flex her independent spirit, yet still wants on hand firmly planted around my finger. She is learning about the world with an insatiable curiosity, but doesn’t know it’s limits yet.

Sounds like a pretty confusing and frustrating place to be, right?

I decided to take a few days to really hone in on my observation skills to see what was causing her frustration and how I could help. I watched her in her play and interactions with people – especially with her main care-giver, me. It became clear rather quickly that her moments of big frustration were usually after being told “no,” or having something taken away, or not being able to do something she wants. Pretty normal.

But I also noticed that I was saying no to her a lot (not the actual word, but the intention). “We’re not going to do bubbles right now, I’m folding laundry” “I can’t let you play with my makeup, it will make a mess.” “Please don’t put your hands in the dirt.” “Don’t pick that up off the ground, that’s yucky.” In fact, when I thought back on one ten minute period, I had essentially told her “no” eight different times. Eep!

I realized too that while many of my “no’s” were totally necessary, others were more MY opinion or desire for how I thought our day should go and weren’t necessarily needed. I mean there really isn’t a reason I can’t put the laundry aside for a minute to blow bubbles out on the deck, right?

I decided to start giving Lila as many “yeses” as I could. As long as it wasn’t something that could be a safety issue or be so annoying as to make me lose my cool, then I am trying to go with it. And so far, my quest to say yes has taken us on some fun adventures.

You want to take your shoes off and put your feet in the lake? You want to taste the sand? OK!

Sure, you can try eating your smoothie yourself with a spoon. It’ll make a mess, but that’s ok.

You want to try climbing this ladder by yourself? Let’s go for it. (she made it to the top on the first try!)

Running in the dirt? Why not!

I think having more yes in her life has helped Lila deal better with the necessary nos. Giving her a little more control over her decisions, actions and feelings has cut down on her frustrations while also building her confidence as a little decision-maker.

And it’s also taught me a good lesson … how to look on the bright side and be open to the “yes” moments in life.

Happy 2014 friends! We are finally back home in Reno settled in after two amazing weeks in Naples, Fl with my family. Our holidays were one of my favorite in recent memory and consisted of sun, pool, naps, good food, card games and special time spent with my family and Lila’s cousins.

To see more photos from our trip, check out my Instagram feed. 

We spent New Year’s Eve at home since Lila was sick with a cold and we had just gotten home a few days before. I made a big fancy dinner of oysters, pork belly, roasted root vegetables and Paleo snickerdoodles. We were in bed by 9:30!

While we were eating dinner, Luke and I started talking about our favorite memories from the past year. There were SO many good ones – Lila’s birthday, starting my business as a consultant, special dates with my love, but when I was pressed to pick just one, I landed on an evening the three of us had at the beach in Florida.

We had decided to take a night with just our little family in downtown Naples. After browsing some shops, Luke suggested we walk the five blocks to the beach for sunset. We got there in the knick of time.

As we were watching the sun go to bed (and Lila eat sand), we realized our little bug had never been in the ocean before. I walked her toward the shore to see how she’d react to the soft waves lapping the sand, and what ensued was one of those parenting moments you hold on to.

Seeing Lila squeal with delight every time a wave rushed toward her and then laugh hysterically when it whooshed back the other way was without a doubt the best memory of my year. In fact, I hope that evening our family of three spent in the orange glow of an ocean sunset will be imprinted in my mind forever.

What was your favorite memory from 2013?

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