Category Archives: Daily Musings

1 Year Blogoversary

Posted in Daily Musings, Liz's Life by

August marks one year since I began blogging and boy has this year flown by!

Keeping a blog going  is a lot of work, but it’s worth it though when I get comments from you guys letting me know that what I’ve written has helped you in some way, made you laugh or think more about what’s happening in your own lives.

Blogging has also helped me become more aware of what’s going on in my life and how I feel about it. Taking a half hour to take a step back and really think about what’s happening around me, what I’ve been doing and then getting it out in words has given me the ability to live in the moment and appreciate my blessings.

In honor of my second year of blogging, I’m working a refresh of my design that will be more simple and allow me to share larger photos and create galleries of my favorite topics like all the Sunday Supper Series and Wedding Planning posts. I can’t wait to reveal it to you guys!

Thanks for sticking with me throughout this year. The support you’ve shown me throughout the wedding planning process, wedding day and married-life has been invaluable and very much appreciated.

I hope I’ve been able to provide you with at least some entertainment in return. If not, here are some of my favorite posts. One of these should surely make you smile!

http://old.abattylife.com/2009/08/10/the-proposal-according-to-luke/

http://old.abattylife.com/2009/08/24/keeping-perspective/

http://old.abattylife.com/2010/07/06/the-right-way-to-hit-on-a-girl/

http://old.abattylife.com/2009/11/17/fashion-tips-for-a-happy-bridal-party/

http://old.abattylife.com/2010/04/17/to-my-love/

http://old.abattylife.com/2009/08/07/how-i-got-a-first-date-upgrade/

Here’s to another great year!

Going Against the Grain

Posted in Daily Musings, Liz's Life by

Mad Men is one of my television obsessions. A couple weeks ago, Don, an ad man and the main character, was talking to Dr. Faye Miller, who they brought in to help shape the strategy of their ad campaigns to best connect with consumers.

During the conversation, Miller said something that has stuck in my head ever since…

“It’s all about what you want vs. what’s expected of you.”

I thought this was a very interesting insight and so very true. It got me thinking about expectations and true desires and how  many times the two just don’t match  up.

When I thought about it, I realized the decisions I’ve made that “went against the grain” ended up being the ones I’m happiest with and most proud of because they truly came from my heart, and therefore ended up being what was really right for me.

Sometimes though the pressure of expectations can become overwhelming. Especially for twenty-something’s living in a big, competitive city like Chicago! I and many of my friends struggle with it every day.

I decided to really look at a couple of these expectations and compare them to the reality I see around me. Of course, this is just my perception, so feel free to disagree with me.

Career Expectations

You’ll find a career (not a job) that you are passionate about and excel at. You’ll get promotions early, raises that surpass your peers and by the time you’re 30, you’ll have the experience and power to dictate your own terms (ie working from home, vacation days, and responsibilities).

Career Reality

Many people I know moved to Chicago and took any job they could find in order to live in the big city. Five years later, most are still at those jobs, which they don’t consider a “career.” They feel terrible anxiety because they’re not passionate about what they do, and they’re overwhelmed by the thought of starting over.

Those that do have a career they’re happy with are finding that there’s no easy button to getting promoted, making more money or acquiring the power they thought they’d have by 30. They’re feeling stressed out and overwhelmed trying to “make it,” yet can’t come to terms with being anything less that the best.

Relationship Expectations

Dating in a big city comes with a ton of pre-conceived notions. If you asked most single people who move to a city out of college, they’d likely say their goals are to remain single and live it up until around 26 (varying if it’s a guy or girl), meet someone, date for three+ years, get engaged, get married, be married for 1-2 years, then finally have children. These people also say they want to have a “big family” with four or more kids. (How getting married at 32-33 leaves time to have 4+ kids is beyond me).

Relationships Reality

The reality of the dating scene for a twenty something in a city ranges widely, but from what I’ve seen, some break off great relationships or don’t give them a chance when they’re young because they aren’t “ready” while others feel pressured to find the right person as soon as they hit their “ideal” age.

Those in happy relationships are expected to not get married “too young” but also not wait until they’re “too old.” And once married,  they grapple with balancing having a family and a home while maintaining that high-powered career they fought so hard for in their twenties.

The message I am getting is that trying to live up to what we think is right just sets us up to feel like failures or pushes us into a lifestyle we don’t actually want.

Of course, expectations can serve a positive purpose too. I mean there’s a reason expectations exist in the first place…they usually outline an ideal path and can help steer someone in the right direction.

While it’s not likely that I can completely disregard expectations, I’m going to make an effort to approach decisions about my life by leading with what feels right inside first. What I (and Luke) truly think is best for US – not everyone else. I’d challenge you to do it too!

Who says your college boyfriend isn’t the man you’re supposed to marry? Why do we feel like we have to know what our life’s calling is at 22? Is it worth it to end up with the wrong person just to meet a personal age deadline?

Personally, I don’t think so, but I want to hear from you!

Do you guys feel pressured by expectations? When’s a time  you went against what everyone else thought you should do to do what felt right to you?

Life As a Landlord Part Two

Posted in Daily Musings, Liz's Life by

Last you heard about my adventures in being a landlord, I had just finished the scariest showing ever, which included smashed toy sharks.

Anyway, after a few nasty emails back and forth between my sister’s husband and “John,” it was clear the goodwill was gone.

Of course, a day later we got a call from another person wanting to see the apartment. We debated waiting to show the place until after John was moved out, but decided to try to prep the prospect to see if they could look past the smoke scent and collage of scantily clad women in hopes that a months rent wouldn’t be lost.

I met the two girls outside of the condo and gave them a little pep-talk.

“So we have an odd guy living in the place now. He just had surgery, so he will be there when we get there…and he smokes…inside….and he’s quite messy.”

I promised them that the place would be cleaned, fumigated, STARCHED…whatever it took to get John’s remnants washed away forever. I also gave them the added bonus of getting to choose the new paint colors.

I used my key to open the door to the condo and a woman with dreadlocks AND a DOG answered the door. “Uh, hi. We called John a few times today to let him know we’re showing the place. Is he here?” She told us she’d go talk to him and shut the door on us!

“I’m really sor”…I started to say to the girls when John appeared IN HIS TIGHTIE WHITIES. (this man clearly has no shame).

He let us know that he had “no idea” anyone was coming over, but that but “he guessed” we could look around as long as we were quiet because he was getting a CRANIAL MASSAGE in his living room.

Sure enough there was a massage bed set up where the mattress once was in the living room and the dreadlocked lady was all set to work her hippy magic on his head. So uncomfortable.

I hustled the girls through the apartment, trying to speak in a low voice so as to not interrupt the in-home spa session taking place in the living room. We made it to the master bedroom when I realized there was another girl there….in his bed.

Again. So awkward!

And confusing….this man is not attractive yet seems to have women on the mind and in his life all the time. Bizarro.

Despite the condition of the condo, seeing a strange man in his underwear and the overall uncomfortable 10 minutes, the girls seemed genuinely interested in the condo.

Please, for the love, I REALLY hope they rent it. I don’t think I can go back there and face John and his smashed toy shark (yup, its still there on the back deck) again!

Life As a Landlord

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Ok, so I know I told you I was really busy and couldn’t write this week, but then some really absurd things happened and I HAD to write them down. This is a two-part story, so I’ll start from the beginning.

When my sister and her husband moved out of Chicago for their careers, they left behind a condo. It was about this same time I became a default landlord. :)

The first couple years as a landlord were fine. I showed the apartment and within the first two showings it was rented. The tenants didn’t bother me once moved in. I was happy with my once a year responsibility.

That was until we decided to rent the place to “John.”

After living quietly in the condo for a year, John, who was always a bit odd, let us know that he was moving out at the end of his lease. We immediately listed the condo and booked a showing within days with a married couple.

When we told him we’d be by to show the condo, John let us know that he recently had back surgery and was bed-ridden, so he’d be in the place when we showed it. Alright, sort of awkward, but whatever.

I hadn’t been in the apartment since John moved in, so I wasn’t sure what kind of condition we’d be walking into on the day of the showing. Just as I led the couple up the stairs and told them what an amazing unit the condo was, we were hit with a wave of cigarette smoke…from the hallway.

I nervously opened the condo door and the smell was so overwhelming I actually coughed! I glanced around and realized on top of smelling like crap, John had absolutely no furniture besides a mattress placed in the middle of the living room, a pair of WOMEN’s UNDERWEAR hanging from the mantel and a home-made collage of scantily-clad women ripped out of magazines and lovingly placed above the fireplace.

On top of that, there was stuff everywhere! The second bedroom was so filled with boxes of old clothes and junk that you couldn’t even open the door. And John was in bed in the master bedroom….with a questionably limited amount of clothes on.

The kicker? The back deck had absolutely no chairs, furniture nothing….except a smashed toy shark. Yup. A SHARK.

I. wanted. to. scream.

The couple looked thoroughly horrified and ran in and out of the condo in about 30 seconds flat. (I totally don’t blame them!)

I immediately called my brother-in-law who was of course upset when he heard about the condition of the condo. He wrote John an email titled “Issues With Condition of Apartment” and included scary words like “stern warning” and “reeked.”

John wrote back and proved that he either grew up in a barn or is a great comedian by starting off saying “Your email comes as a shock to me. The unit is impeccably clean.”

WHAT???!

The nightmare doesn’t end there folks. Stay tuned for part two where I have a second showing in which John answers the door in his tightie whities.