Category Archives: Liz’s Life

When It Rains, It Pours and Sometimes You Also Get Hit By Hail

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There’s only one word to describe the past week …. rough.

It started on last Friday night. Lila woke up at 2 am crying, which she never does. I got her out of bed and gave her some milk. She calmed down and went back to sleep. But not even 30 minutes later she was crying again for me.

The crying continued the rest of the night and none of us got much sleep. The rest of the weekend, she continued to be fussy, lethargic and flatout miserable. I felt awful for her, but thought it was just teething as she was drooling and her cheeks were red.

On Monday Luke flew out to Mexico for a week, so I decided that instead of being home alone, I’d drive us to San Francisco to visit my sister’s family. It was risky given how fussy Lila had been acting, but I decided to take my chances with her in the car for 3.5 hours.

Well yeah … that 3.5 hours turned into SIX because the Bay Bridge was out. We were stuck in this for 1.5 hours and Lila was screaming for all it.

Bay Bridge traffic jam

I was in the middle lane in six lanes of traffic, so there was no way I could even get off to tend to Lila. At one point I rolled the windows down to get her some fresh air and her screaming caused a woman in a convertible next to me to stare in disbelief.

When Lila woke up the next morning in San Francisco she had a red rash on her face and stomach. I thought at first maybe it was the detergent my sister uses or possibly a new food we tried the night before for dinner. But throughout the day her condition worsened – the rash spread to her whole body, she was crying a lot and pulling at her hair.

I decided to take her to urgent care around 5pm. The doctor told me she had a virus (didn’t say what it was called) and that the rash was a symptom. She prescribed some baby Claritin and Tylenol. Once Lila took the medicine she got much better and just wanted to sleep.

I felt awful for not realizing she wasn’t teething or having a reaction to food, but was in fact sick. Here I am dragging on a six hour car ride when she felt awful. I gave her lots of snuggles and told her how sorry I was that I didn’t realize she was feeling so bad. She has perked up since and seems to be on the mend.

I thought things were going to be looking up until yesterday my credit card number was stolen off a receipt I threw away at Walgreens (while buying Lila medicine) and the bandit was charging up a storm. Thankfully Amex restricted the charges and cancelled my card.

Then to cap off this hellish week, this morning I got a parking ticket.

Ugh.

Here’s hoping I got all my bad-luck karma out of the way this week.

The Verdict on Mexico

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We finally came to a decision on Mexico after a lot of time talking about it, and have decided not to go. I almost feel bad writing that – like I’m disappointing all of you who commented that we should go for it.

At the end of the day I just had a lot of concerns about living in Mexico with a baby while Luke was gone a lot. If this was three years ago, before we had Lila, I think I would have been up for it. But I guess I felt like moving to Lake Tahoe was our “adventure” and now as a new mom, I need some stability.

I’ve picked up and moved to a lot of new places in my life – New York City, Myrtle Beach, Chicago, Germany, Lake Tahoe – and I have learned that while these experiences are exciting, eye-opening and fun, they also can be really lonely until you find your niche.

We have finally (after three years) gotten to a place here in Nevada where we have a community of friends. And with Luke’s brother in town and my sister’s family a four hour drive away, I just didn’t want to have to start all over again … in a new country … where I don’t speak the language.

Throughout the process, I felt like I was being somewhat selfish. Wouldn’t a good wife support her husband’s career at any cost? But I just had to be honest with myself and with Luke. We both agreed that unless I was excited to go, that it wouldn’t work.

I tried to get myself there by researching the city, joining expat forums and listening to Spanish lessons on tape, but each morning I woke up with a feeling of dread that I just couldn’t shake. I truly felt I would not be happy there and three years is a long time to be unhappy.

Luke and his company have been very understanding and supportive. I know it must have been hard for him to turn down such a great career opportunity, but I’m lucky to have a husband who values the happiness of his family over his own ambition. Plus we’re confident other opportunities will present themselves. Luke is incredibly smart and hard working, so he tends to find opportunity wherever he is.

So that’s that. I am really relieved to have that decision behind us. Thank you again for all your advice and support.

What Brings Us Joy

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When I’m in the middle of making a big decision, I find the best thing to do is to take one giant step back, remove myself from the details and try to look at it from a big picture perspective.

I don’t mean just “where will this choice leave me in 5 or 10 years?” But more, how does this decision play into who I am as a person? Does is match up with my core values? And this might sound fleeting, but I also ask myself “will this choice bring more or less joy into my life?”

Joy can mean something different to everyone, but in this context I think of it as the things that feed my soul. That make me smile. That make me feel alive.

As part of our decision-making process about this opportunity in Mexico, Luke and I sat down this weekend to make a list. The list is called “what brings us joy.” The goal? To approach decisions about our life with these things in mind.

What Brings Us Joy (in no order)

– Being together
– Being outside
– Being with extended family
– Having experiences over having things
– Having a community to spend time with (friends/organizations)
– Time to explore hobbies & personal interests
– Being fit and healthy
– Being creative
– Helping others
– Fostering spirituality

Now, I know that it’s not realistic that make life just about these things. There are bills to pay. Jobs to work. Obligations to fulfill. BUT I do think we often time lose sight of what matters most to us and before we know it our lives have gotten too far from what brings us joy.

And anyway, who says joy can’t dominate our days? Maybe it doesn’t have to be something we experience for fleeting moments, but something that is a constant presence in our lives?

When we took a step back to look at our list, we realized that we are doing well at arranging our life to maximize some of our joy-creators like:

– being together more (why we moved to Reno and eliminated Luke’s commute)
– being outside (why we chose to live near walking paths)
– being fit & healthy (why we follow Paleo and work out)
– Exploring personal hobbies (why we moved to Nevada to be closer to skiing/hiking)

But we’re also woefully lacking in other areas:

– Being close to family/friends
– Having a community to spend time with
– Being creative
– Helping others

We’re still deciphering what this all means in the context of Mexico, but I feel like this process helped strip away our superficial feelings about the decision. Now we’re approaching it from an introspective, thoughtful place.

Expats?

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If there’s one word I’d use to describe this past year, it would be change. So much has changed in my life. I’m a mother now. I quit my job. I started a new career. We moved to Reno.

Well, it looks like the biggest change of all might be happening soon.

Luke’s been offered a big opportunity at his company that requires us to live in Mexico for three years.

Many, many things are going through my head as we weigh the decision to move, but mostly I am so proud of Luke. His role would be overseeing a restructuring of all accounting in Mexico for three gold mines there. Careerwise it’s a big step up and financially it’s very appealing.

We’d be living near one of their three mines either in Hermosillo, a modern city of about 850,000, Durango, a smaller, more cultural town or down the road, possibly La Paz, a coastal town near Cabo.

This is Hermosillo:

hermosillo sonora

This is Durango:

image

This is La Paz:

tumblr_m8rqx9v8OJ1rtvfllo1_1280

Lukeinman_golapaz_-10

To be frank, I’m pretty scared about the idea of living in Mexico. Mainly I am worried I will be completely isolated and lonely. I have four years of school in spanish, but by no means am conversational. From my research I can’t find any vibrant expat scene in Hermosillo or Durgano, which is likely where we’ll be.

I am afraid I’ll be stuck in a house with no friends or activities to do on a day-to-day basis. Plus Luke will still be traveling a lot around Mexico, putting in long hours and have a high amount of stress. We’re trying to see if we can work in some travel budget so I can visit family in the states often, but it’s still leaves me feeling uncertain.

I’m trying to focus on the upside of the situation. The long-term career benefits for Luke, the money we’ll save for a house someday, becoming fluent in Spanish and the adventure of living abroad in a new culture.

For now, no decision has been made and we’re going to fly down to visit so we can get a feel of where we’d be living. I feel like I will be able to get a gut-check on whether or not I can live there for three years once we see it in person.

I’d appreciate any advice, prayers or good vibes as we tackle this decision. What would you do if you were us?