Dear Whit and Davis: You’re Five Years Old!

My sweet, sweet boys, today you are five! It’s hard to believe five years ago I was laying in a hospital bed with severe preeclampsia waiting to deliver you. I was so scared and anxious in that moment because it was so early (34 weeks), but I also had a peace in my heart. I knew deep down that you would be safe and that it was time for you to take your place in our family.

When you were born I was thrust into the life of being a boy mom. I honestly thought I would have all girls and was unsure of my ability to mother boys. I didn’t know if I’d be able to relate to boys or understand what your little hearts needed from me. For a lot of my life I felt disconnected and misunderstood by a lot of the males I was around, whereas with women I felt seen for who I really was.

God clearly had a plan in mind because now I am a mom to three boys! And the uncertainty I had about being a boy mom have disappeared. I very quickly was able to see you boys for who you are deep inside, sweet, sensitive, loving souls. And the love you show me absolutely melts my heart – it’s true what they say, “boys love their mamas.” The experience of raising you two and Alden has opened my heart to the joys that come with having sons.

After getting gipped for your fourth birthday (due to Covid), I wanted to go BIG this year. Your fifth birthday became more like a birthday week! Last Friday we hosted most of our family for a joint First Communion / Birthday party for Lila and you. We had a delicious brunch catered, two cakes and beautiful weather to enjoy being together outside in our backyard.  You loved running around with your cousins!

Then you celebrated your day at school with little goodie bags for your classmates. On Friday we hosted our close family friends over for a party with a magician! (Magic with Eli) You absolutely LOVED the magic show and were laughing so hard the whole time. I loved seeing you enjoy yourselves so much! You’ve been surrounded by so many people who love you this week, which is exactly what I hoped for.

Whitaker, this year you have grown so much both physically and emotionally. You are a good six inches taller than most the kids in your class and are seriously made of pure muscle. I can barely pick you up anymore because you’re built like a brick! Thankfully you love my piggy back rides.

You have shown what a natural athlete you are this year playing basketball, soccer, volleyball and t-ball. You pick up sports very easily and I foresee a future of cheering for you on the sidelines (which I will LOVE). You are always climbing and jumping off the furniture, wrestling with Davis or doing your silly dance moves (which always make me laugh).

While you are bold physically, you are my most sensitive kiddo. You have a tender little heart that can get bruised easily. I always say that “Whit is a little lover,” because you show your love for others easily. At school it’s common for you to tell your teacher and classmates that you love them, which melts everyone’s hearts. And while you have a hot temper sometimes, you want so badly to make those around you happy. You feel absolutely awful afterwards when your hot emotions take over. I always tell you that “you’re still learning and it’s okay to make mistakes.”

You discovered video games this year and love playing them with your brother. You are extremely focused and persistent when you have a goal in mind – like beating a game. It actually really impresses me how determined you are when you find something you really care about.

You are Mario-obsessed and will play for hours with Davis pretending you’re inside the games you love. My favorite time is when you two are completely engrossed in your pretend play and I can just observe and listen to your little creative storylines and collaborative play. It’s truly amazing to see how close you two are. You play all day long and rarely fight or get sick of each other. I can’t imagine how wonderful it would have been to grow up with my best friend every day!

Davis, out of all my kids, you have grown and matured the most this year. You suddenly want to know how everything works and are constantly building or taking something apart. Your interest in numbers, letters, puzzles has exploded and you’re taking in knowledge at a very fast rate. Everyone who knows you says you have an engineer’s mind, which I think takes after your Grandpa Batman.

Emotionally you have become much more adaptable, in-control and aware of your emotions this year. You are noticing how others are feeling around you and showing your empathetic heart. You particularly are in tune with Whitaker’s feelings and often are the first one to try to comfort him when he’s upset. Like the other day when I was taking a “time out” with Whit in his room and you came up and tried to cheer him up with some of your ice cream. You have a very loving, nurturing heart, sweet boy.

You still love transformers, but have also discovered a love of legos. You are able to build complex lego sets meant for 8 year olds and complete transformers with 30+ steps. You even took apart a lego set and rebuilt it perfectly with no instructions, which sort of blew my mind! You also love playing pretend and are often begging Whitaker to play with you. Usually you are the one “directing” the game you two play – coming up with challenges and storylines for you both to act out.

You’ve had a wonderful year at school this year after struggling the year before. Both you and Whitaker get nothing but great behavior reports and are progressing so well with your social and academic skills. We decided to have you guys do Kindergarten Readiness vs going straight to Kindergarten, and I think it’s going to help you be even more confident and prepared. I have a feeling you’re going to be a very smart boy who excels in school.

You are still my most snuggly child, which melts my heart. You will often plop yourself down in my lap or ask me to tickle you. I love being so close to you and dread the day you no longer want to cuddle. I love lying with you and Whitaker at bedtime, reading books, singing songs and drawing letters on your back. Will you do me a favor and promise to always let me hug you even when you’re grown up?

You boys have blessed my live in more ways than you’ll ever know. I feel like I finally understand how the “boy brain” works, and love how complex, sweet, caring and sensitive you are underneath the loud, physical exterior that comes with being growing boys.

My hopes for both of you is that as you grow, you don’t hide away that sensitive, loving side of yourself, because to me that is the most beautiful part of you both. Don’t ever be afraid to let your emotions show or to ask for help when you need it. The world needs more love, kindness and empathy, which you both have so much to give.

I hope you both know Daddy and I will always love you unconditionally and completely. There’s absolutely nothing you could do that would change our love for you. Have a wonderful time being five, my loves!

Love always,

Mommy