Three Stories from 2014

I sat down to write a post recapping 2014 today, but what came out was either negative in regard to all the stress our family went through this year with our move, botched house hunting, miscarriage, moving again etc, or overly “look on the bright side of things.”

If you’ve been reading my blog this year, you pretty much know what has gone down, so instead of recapping the year – highs and lows – I’m going to share some stories from the past few weeks. Just small moments that have made me pause and smile.

Luke and I were both raised with religion, and we are raising Lila Catholic. We pray before bed and at other random times, but admittedly we are not very good about praying before meals.

Well last night as we sat down to eat our sloppy joes over mashed sweet potatoes, I was about to dig in when Lila said “lets pray!” Then she put her hands together in what can best be described as two claws next to each other and sang “Jesus loves me this I knoooow. Amen!”

Our girl is quite perceptive and picked this song and habit up from spending the week with her Grammie & Gramps (Luke’s parents). It was a sweet moment and a reminder to slow down.

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Okay story number two. When I first met Luke’s family, it was over Thanksgiving at their house about six or seven years ago. I wanted to learn as much as I could about Luke, so I asked to see childhood photos or videos. Felicia put on a video from Christmas past when Luke was about 7 or so.

In the video Luke is shown opening a pack of baseball cards he apparently wanted desperately. After opening them he runs over to his mom and says “THANK YOU MOMMY!!!!” It was so sweet!

This Christmas, I thought of that video when Luke came over to me, his voice breathless “I’m really excited about all my presents! I just want to spend all day playing with them.” He was half joking, but I could tell he really was amped about his heart rate monitor, money clip and other presents. I love how Christmas can bring the giddy out of a 32 year old man.

Screen Shot 2014-12-31 at 9.36.07 AMLast story. Last year was Lila’s first Christmas not as a newborn, so I was thinking a lot about what traditions I wanted to start for her around the holidays. Growing up, Luke’s Grandpa would dress up as Santa on Christmas day. He still does this every year. Go Grandpa Batman!

Well, knowing my Dad and his proclivity to be a good sport, I proposed he start this tradition for Lila and the grand babies. He was all in. This year was our second annual visit from santa and Lila’s reaction was too funny not to share.

From the moment I said “Oh, look! I think someone is at the front door.” Lila immediately bolted to my mom, climbed into her lap and buried her face in her neck. Santa came in the front door and Lila peeked a look at him before covering her eyes with her hand. The horror of this man in red!!

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She didn’t cry or anything, and of course she gladly accepted his presents (before whipping back and burying her face in my mom), but I think it’s safe to say Lila was happy to see Santa GO! Maybe next year St. Nick.

Screen Shot 2014-12-31 at 9.41.44 AMSometimes the big events – happy or sad – take up the most space in our mind when we look back on the previous year, but sometimes its nice to remember all those small moments that make a day, a year or a life. 2014 was filled to the brim with these small, sweet but gone-in-a-flash memories. They are what I’m holding onto most from this year.

Thank you all for supporting me and lifting me up this past year. I am thankful for you all!

Dear Lila: You’re 20 Months Old!

Dear Lila,

Tomorrow you turn 20 months old. It’s late and I should be in bed asleep, but I wanted to get down on my blog how I feel right in this exact moment thinking about you as a 20 month old.

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Today was one of those typical stay at home mom days. We had eggs and yogurt for breakfast (you ate FOUR eggs!), then we went to the park (I pushed you on the swing for a good 20 minutes). After your nap, we went next door and played with the neighbor kids. There were ups, like our dance party in the living room, and downs, like when you cried when I said it was time to leave the park. Just a normal day.

And yet tonight when I think back on our day together, I’m filled with such an immense amount of love for you. I so enjoy our simple days together. We have such fun on our little adventures, and I have never felt such peace, contentment and JOY than when I’m spending a completely ordinary day with you.

Oh my goodness you are so much fun right now. The other night at dinner you, me, daddy and Mimi were sitting around the kitchen table singing “patty cake.” You got the hang of rolling your arms during the “rollll it” part and at the end of each verse you’d cheer “yaaaaaay!!!” and clap your hands. Of course we were all smiling and laughing right along with you.

You finally have let me cuddle you a bit. Your mommy loves to cuddle and until now you have been more like your daddy – very independent and no hugging please! Lately though, you will rest your head on my should for short bits of time, run up to me and give me a big hug or my favorite, let me hold you very tight before bed when we sing “twinkle twinkle” by your crib. I love burying my face in your sweet smelling hair and closing my eyes to savor the moment.

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You still eat like a grown man. Seriously, you out-eat your dad occasionally. You favorites are eggs, sauerkraut, plums, peaches and popsicles. I make popsicles for you at home using coconut water or as you call it “coco,” mashed up berries and a little orange juice. The other day, you ate three popsicles right in a row (Daddy was watching you).

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I am amazed every day by what new things you can do or how your understanding of the world increases. This morning you were playing in my closet while I got ready to go to the park and I said “Lila, can you bring me my tennis shoes?” You immediately picked my tennis shoes out of 10 pairs of shoes and brought them to me saying “shoo shoo!”

Speaking of shoes, you are sort of obsessed with yours, mine, dads … any one’s shoes! You will point to dad’s sandals and say “Is dada’s shoo!” while you try to put it on. When I get you dressed in the morning, it always takes the longest for you to pick out and approve of what shoes you are wearing that day. I love that one minute you’re proud of your shoe collection and the next you’re throwing dirt.

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After a month or more of living in Ohio, I must say, I think you like it here. Between seeing both sets of your grandparents, having both mommy and daddy home all week and playing with your cousin Reagan and friends Liam, baby Harrison and the neighbors regularly, I marvel at how happy you seem lately. You are an Ohio girl just like your mama.

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I think about how fast you’re growing and how soon you’ll be a full fledged little girl. I tell daddy, “I hope as she grows up that she’ll continue to want to be around me.” I know that sounds a little silly and that there will likely be some years where you’ll prefer your friends over me, but please know my little Lila, I will ALWAYS enjoy being around you. Even when you’re angry, sad or mad at me, being will you will still be my favorite way to spend a day.

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Love,

Mom

Dear Lila: You’re 15 Months!

Dear Lila,

It makes me sad to say it, but you are no longer a baby. It seems like overnight you have morphed into a full-fledged toddler – and I must admit, I love it! Every where I take you people ask “how old is she?” and when I proudly respond that you are 15 months, they always say “she is soooo cute!”

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You finally started letting me do your hair without yanking the hair tie out immediately. You have really thick hair, but it’s grown in at different paces, so pony tails take some finesse on my part. It seems like once you have your hair up you suddenly morph into a little girl vs a baby.

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Your language has exploded and you are talking a ton. Doggie, woof woof, mommy, dada, baby, milk, bye bye and yes are all some of your many words, but your favorite word? “NO!” Yes I couldn’t believe it when you started with the NO’s because we don’t really say that a lot, but you figured it out and like to let your will be known!

Of course, out of all your words, “Mama” is my favorite.

You mastered walking last month and now happily toddle along. You are getting more and more confident on your feet and have even started walking down stairs at the park. You are still a big climber and will often use random objects, like the laundry basket, to get some leverage to climb higher and higher.

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I take you to the park pretty much every day so you can enjoy the outdoors. You like to swing, climb, slide, eat grass (when mom’s not looking), but once you spot a dog, you have a one-track mind to PET. THAT. DOG! You’ll say “dodee, dodee!” or “Woof woof!” as you walk over to pet it. (here you are with Aunt Amy petting a dodee)

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Now that you’re older and talking, it’s been so fun for us to have “conversations” with you. Last night we went out to get Mexican food and on the way home I asked you “Lila, did you like your dinner?” You said “Yeah!” Then 10 minutes later I asked you the same question and you said “No!” I guess you must have changed your mind? :)

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Every day with you gets more and more interesting little bug. You are growing up right before our eyes and it’s just the best thing I have ever seen. You’re our independent, confident, curious, happy girl and we love you to bits.

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Love,

Mommy

 

Dear Lila – You’re Two Weeks!

Dear Lila,

Can you believe your first two weeks of life have come and gone? Today we took you to the doctor for your two week check up and you gained ANOTHER 10 ounces – 20 total since leaving the hospital. I was so proud of how well you’re doing. The doctor said I must be making “milk of gold.”

It’s hard to fathom how much our life has already changed since you’ve joined us. I can hardly even remember what our life was like before you. I know it involved more sleep, but otherwise it was void of all the joy you bring to us every day. You really have weaved yourself into every inch of our lives in such a short period of time, and it has been the most wonderful change I could have imagined.

Mimi is here helping take care of you while I recover and every day she marvels at what a good baby you are. You are very chill. Not much crying or fussing. Lots of nursing and sleeping. And lots of funny faces that make us all giggle.

You have had three baths so far and have enjoyed them all immensely. It’s the drying off part you could do without. You are quite a loud baby – lots of snorting, grunting and sighing. You like laying on your side best, but tolerate tummy time and back laying time really well. You LOVE to show off your sucking reflex and have already found your thumb.

Basically you are just so easy to love.

It melts my heart to see your daddy with you. Before you were born, he was a little nervous about having a girl. Just because he was worried he wouldn’t be “sensitive” enough to relate to a girl. I knew better though. He’s already putty in your hand! He loves to give you kisses, snooze with you on his chest and attend to your every whim. In fact, just a few days after you were born, he turned to me and said “I think I changed my mind. I want all girls now. She’s just sooo sweet.”

I can’t blame him though. I am totally smitten with you too. My favorite time is snuggling you after you get done nursing. You have such a funny face on and are in a total milk coma. Although breastfeeding is time consuming and at times uncomfortable, I am happy that I am the only one who can help you grow and thrive in that way.

The only really hard part about this whole newborn period is the realization that you won’t be my little baby for long. We were at a party last night for the mom’s group here in Incline Village and next to me was a three month old baby boy. He looked SO big next to you and my heart broke in half thinking about how quickly you’re going to grow and change this year.

Of course I am so excited to watch you get bigger, to see your first gummy smile and help you develop, but I will miss this period when you need me so much and are so tiny and snuggly. But I guess time is both a friend and foe. One thing I know motherhood will teach me is how to truly savor each moment.

So, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing tonight. Snuggling you close to me, taking lots of photos and reflecting on how blessed I am to be your mommy.

Love,

Me