Dear Lila: You’re Eight Years Old!

Dear Lila,

Today you turn eight years old! We started your morning with the usual donuts, balloons, flowers and presents. I love showering you with attention on your special day, because you absolutely deserve it!

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It feels a little weird that you’re turning eight, because on one end I feel like you were just my little baby. I can actually feel your little hand in mine as we took on all our daily adventures to story time, play dates, the zoo and coffee shops. It was just you and me most days and it was so awesome.

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But then on the other hand you seem so much older than eight. You have a quiet maturity beyond your years. Sometimes when we’re laying in bed before I say goodnight, you tell me about your day, your friends, whats happening in school and I feel like I’m talking to a young woman, not a little kid.

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You’ve shifted away from princesses and dress up towards pop singers and begging me to wear some makeup. While I am not too keen on you growing up too fast, I am enjoying watching the amazing person you’re becoming. I tell my friends all the time that you really are such a wonderful kid. When I feel like I’m failing as a parent, I remind myself how great you are, so I must be doing something right, right??

Screen Shot 2020-11-16 at 1.38.05 PMThis year you’ve really come into your own. You are so confident that it blows my mind sometimes. When I was your age I often tried to do anything to just fit in – even hiding parts of myself to appease others – but you are unabashedly yourself. This is probably why people are so drawn to you!

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Just like when you were a toddler and would ask me daily to “go bye bye sumpin,” you still like being active and busy. This year you did cross country again and got first place at championships against girls a year older than you. It was so exciting! Other sports you’ve done this year include swimming, tennis, golf, basketball and yoga. You also still love art, drawing, singing and you’re just starting piano lessons. On the rare days we don’t have anything planned, you usually beg to have a friend over to play. You do NOT like just sitting around.

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Despite having a lot of friends, you still love spending time with your family the most. You have developed an especially close bond with Alden. And he adores you right back. You love to hold him, play with him and try to get him to giggle. You’re also still very close with your cousins Mabel and Reagan. I’m so thankful for technology that has allowed you girls to play games together despite covid and living so far apart.

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You are incredibly smart and have an insatiable appetite for reading. Daddy can’t keep library books coming fast enough for you and we often have to tell you to turn the lights off or you’d read well into the night. In fact last year you read the most minutes during a school competition – 33 hours in one weeks! You definitely got your memory from your Daddy as you already smoke me in matching games. I love that you love school, learning and expressing your creativity. I often find you writing stories, plays or poems in your free time.

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I love how sensitive and open you are with your feelings. Almost every day you tell Daddy and I how much you love and appreciate us. You always express your genuine appreciation for the things we do for you, like take you shopping or have your friends over. Little things many kids take for granted, you recognize and know how lucky you are. Any time you feel angry, upset or sad, you are able to work through your tough emotions and apologize on your own later. Like I said, you’re mature beyond your years!

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These birthday letters are always bittersweet because I know you’re growing up and eventually will set out on your own. Any time I start to get sad though I remind myself how lucky I am that I got to spend literally every day of your life with you. I haven’t missed a thing and it’s been the BEST experience of my life watching you grow up.

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I hope you know how special you are to me and Daddy. We are so proud of you kiddo!!!

Love always,

Mommy

 

 

 

Dear Boys, You’re Four Years Old!

Dear Whitaker and Davis,

A few weeks ago you guys turned four years old! We had grand plans to throw you a big birthday party with a magician, but the coronavirus pandemic foiled our plans. Instead, after 56 days of isolating at home, we decided it was safe enough to spend your birthday with Grammie and Gramps.

You both were SO HAPPY to be out of the house visiting your grandparents. They as usual made the visit lovely for you, with special toys laid out all around the house, big wheels in the garage and all your favorite foods ready. I was so relived to see both of your happy, sweet spirits return while we were there. At one point, Davis, you said “I’m so happy here.”

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The morning of your birthday, you woke up (Davis at 2:45 am from excitement!) to gifts, cake, balloons and transformer decorations, because if there’s one thing to know about you right now, it’s that you LOVE transformers! We ate a breakfast of cinnamon rolls, eggs, bacon and fruit before you tore into your presents (surprise! More transformers).

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It was a great end to your third year. Honestly, three has been a tricky year for you guys in many ways. A new sibling joining the family, starting school, then your beloved preschool teacher abruptly leaving and finally a global pandemic completely halting your life. So many big changes happened this year, that any one would struggle with, let alone a little three year old.

Three is a big year already with a lot of milestones. You both became more independent, yet still wanted to be little. In fact leading up to your fourth birthday, Whitaker, you asked me “Do I have to become a big guy on my birthday?” I reassured you that you have a lot more years as a “little guy” before the pressure of growing up is upon you.

Despite all the changes, one thing remained consistent this year, and that is your brotherly bond. I feel bad at times that I group you two together (like writing you one blog post vs two separate), but in reality you two are still very much a package deal. You love being together, playing transformers for hours. When I try to do “special time” with you separately, you both ask where the other one is and why did I leave them at home!?

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Although you’ve got that amazing twin bond going on, you both are very different in many ways.

Davis, you are our little builder. You love playing with legos, connecting blocks and other toys that require you to use your imagination to build something. I think that’s why you love transformers so much, because you can use your hands to change and morph them into something new. Your focus and concentration amazes me – you already can complete transformers that are 20+ steps meant for 10 year olds.

IMG_4696You are still my sweet snuggler and are content to lay with me watching a show (usually transformers). It absolutely melts my heart when you let me hold you, because your siblings are far too active for that. I will miss that time together so much when you get older and don’t want your mommy as much.

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I’ve realized this year that you are far more sensitive than I ever thought. You pick up on things that other kids are oblivious to. No small detail passes you by. You are the kid stopping to notice the roughness of the tree bark, or the feather underneath the grass.

This also has meant you have stronger emotions to things like the coronavirus. You ask me a lot about the virus, when it will end and why you can’t go to school or go to all the places you love. While my heart hurts seeing you struggle with these big feelings, I know this sensitivity will be an amazing asset for you as you grow up. You’ll be the man who is a empathetic husband, father and friend.

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Whitaker you have grown up so much this past year and yet in many ways are still my baby boy. You enjoy your creature comforts and honestly find the whole school thing a little bit uncomfortable. Pretty much every day you would cling to us at drop off and start your day crying a bit. The teachers assured us that you warmed up quickly, but let’s just say the stay at home order from the pandemic was a welcome change from you!

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You are such a BOY it’s almost funny. My friends laugh at all my Instagram stories showing you scaling some part of our furniture, making giant messes or just being your loud, boisterous self. Before having boys, I thought all that gender stuff was mostly conditioning, but you have shown me that it can be absolutely just inherent!


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You are a strong little guy and have such coordination. Before your fourth birthday you were riding a bike without training wheels. I can see a future in athletics for you for sure. Beyond your physicality, you also love playing transformers with Davis. You love making up little story lines and I’ll often hear you mumbling to yourself followed by a “blast! blast!”

 

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Oh and if you can’t tell by these photos, you spent most of your third year of life naked! lol. You definitely make your preferences known and can be extremely persistent in what you want. This will serve you well later in life when you won’t let yourself be peer pressured. I have a feeling you’ll be the person who always knows what they want in life.

I am so excited to see what this year brings for both of you. If your experience is anything like your sisters, I think you’ll love being four. For her things just sort of “clicked” shortly after her fourth birthday and life for everyone got a lot easier.

My hope for both of you this year is that you know how much you are loved and that no matter what challenges come your way, you are capable of overcoming them. You’ll have your family cheering you on every step of the way.

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We love you both so much and are so glad we get to watch you both grow up together.

XO,

Mommy

 

7 Years Together

This weekend will be 7 years since Luke and I were married on a sunny, yet cool day in Chicago.

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To be honest, before we got married, I had a lot of anxiety. It was such a big decision and I didn’t want to screw it up! I knew in my heart Luke would be a great husband, but it was still scary.

You hear so many stories of couples who divorce, or worse live life together unhappy. I heard the saying “marriage is hard work!!” a lot and honestly, felt like I needed to steel myself for it to be difficult. I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to step into a “hard” situation.

Of course I got over this fear and am SO glad I did!

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I know our marriage is still young, but after seven years (10 together total) I can honestly say being married to Luke has never once felt like “hard work.” It’s difficult for me to imagine a situation where it will in the future too.

We’ve been through cross-country moves, stressful jobs, raising three young children and the doozies – miscarriage and infertility. None of these things were easy, but they were made easier having Luke by my side. Situations that could have driven us a part only made us cling to each other more.

Throughout these seven years, we’ve evolved and grown. Both as individuals and as a couple. We’ve learned to communicate like pros, give support when the other needs it and serve up some tough love when it’s due.

One of the things I love and admire most about Luke is his desire to be a true partner to me. There really aren’t many fixed “roles” in our house. He carries his share of the childcare, housework, yard work, errands and more while working a stressful job. He is in tune with my needs and never makes me feel guilty when I need a break or time away to recharge.

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When we do have an argument, it’s typically over in 5-10 minutes. Neither of us like to be at odds, so both of us are eager to talk it through, come to an understanding and move on. I think it’s just that we both agree that nothing is worth damaging our relationship over.

I often tell Luke that I really feel like our souls are linked. When he has to travel for work, I feel restless and unable to relax. I sleep poorly and just feel like something is missing. My life is always, always better when Luke is near to me. Thank God he works from home and is with us most days!

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When I started this blog, Luke and I had just gotten engaged. The posts were filled with my love for him and my excitement for the future. Three kids later, my posts have shifted to stories about motherhood, but make no mistake, Luke is still the most important and cherished person in my life.

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These seven years have flown by too. Sometimes I still feel like a love-sick 20-something who just met a tall, strong man named “Batman.” I hope someday when we’re old and have lived a good life together, that feeling will still be there giving me butterflies.

Luke, I love you so much! Thank you for being my person. I can’t wait to see what adventures this life brings us! XOXO forever.

 

 

 

 

Dear Luke : Happy Three Year Anniversary!

Dear Luke,

Three years ago today, I made the best decision of my life. I married you.

Before we said “I Do,” I had heard that the first years of marriage were some of the toughest, that marriage was “hard work,” and to expect the butterflies in my stomach to fade with time. But obviously, the people who told me that didn’t know you very well. If they had, they’d understand that life by your side would be anything BUT “hard work.”

You are the kindest person I have ever met. You listen … like really listen. You always give people the benefit of the doubt. You understand how to live with gratitude and to be happy with what you have.

All the time I have girlfriends comment that they can tell you adore me. I always smile and say that I adore you just as much. And it’s true. I feel so lucky to have you in my life.

While many 31-year-old men hold making money, partying with friends, achieving power or driving their personal goals first, you have made it your #1 priority to bring harmony and happiness to our family. And you’re killing it. Our house is peaceful and our lives are filled with joy.

I know we said no presents this year, but I have to say thank you for your role in giving me the greatest present ever … becoming a mom to Lila. Sometimes I look at her and I can’t believe we created something so perfect.

Watching you become a father has been incredible to witness. Beyond changing diapers, washing bottles and giving baths, you shower Lila with devotion and a gentle, accepting kind of love. I don’t tell you this enough, but you are an amazing father already.

When I think about the future I want for Lila, one of the main things I hope she finds is a life partner who loves her the way you love me. She’s going to have a head start after having you for a daddy, because growing up surrounded by your love will teach her that she’s worthy and deserving.

If the first years of marriage are indeed some of the hardest, then I think we’re set up to have one of those epic love stories you hear about. And even when (if?) we run into roadblocks in our relationship, I promise to trust in our love and ride through the storm, because I know what waits on the other side is something I never want to lose.

Happy three year anniversary. I love you!

Liz