A Man of Grace

Yesterday was my guy’s 30th birthday. Leading up to his day, Luke told me repeatedly that he didn’t want a party or special trip, but that spending the day skiing with me was what he wanted to do.

I felt like I probably should have made a grander effort to celebrate his birthday beyond just a normal day skiing together, but between my crazy work schedule, recent travel, hosting Thanksgiving and helping my sister prepare for the birth of her first child, I just didn’t have time to plan anything.

Well yesterday,  we drove to Heavenly for our “special” day of skiing together. It was going to be even better because Luke’s brother and sister were already up there getting a lesson. When we got to the front of the line and had our passes scanned, we were told by the ticket scanner  “all employees and dependants are restricted from skiing today because of holiday crowds.”

I couldn’t believe it. I totally knew about this restriction, but for whatever reason had convinced myself it ended on Saturday. With everything going on the past week I totally spaced on double checking if we were in fact allowed to ski or not.

Luke was clearly disapointed and I felt just terrible.

After lugging our stuff all the way back to the car, we headed home. Sitting in the passenger seat, I thought about everything Luke must have felt right then. “It’s my 30th birthday and all I wanted to do was ski. Why didn’t she plan this better? Now my birthday is ruined. Am I not important to her?”

I put so much pressure on myself to give 100% to so many things – work, holidays, family – that I ended up letting down the one person who should come above everything else in my life.

My eyes welled up with tears and right when I expected Luke to say he was angry, he took my hand and said “It’s okay babe. It’s nothing to be upset about. We’ll have plenty of time to ski together. You’ve taken on a lot lately and I’m really proud of how you’ve handled it all. Don’t worry about today at all.”

He held my hand the rest of the 45 minute drive home reassured me until me tears were dry.

In that moment, I felt incredibly blessed to be able to love this man for the rest of my life.

Happy birthday Luke. You are the most important person in my life and I cherish our love above all else. Thank you for all the times you lift me up. I love you forever and always.