Category Archives: Kids

The Guessing Game

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by

Since I’ve been home full-time with Lila, it seems my days have become filled with playing a constant guessing game. I still haven’t quite figured this girl out and find myself wondering what it is she needs from me.

Every day seems to be different no matter how hard I try to get us into some semblance of a routine. And her needs change hour to hour.

Take napping for example. Sometimes she wants to sleep on her own in her crib. Sometimes she wants me to hold her. Sometimes she needs to be rocked. Sometimes she likes a swaddle. Sometimes she wants to stretch her arms and legs out. Gah!

Good thing she’s so cute when she is asleep.

I’m trying to follow advice I’ve gotten from other moms to settle into an eat, play, sleep routine so Lila doesn’t rely on nursing to fall asleep. She’s been eating about every 2.5 – 3 hours during the day and every 3.5 – 4 hours at night. This is supposed to help regulate her sleeping at night, but that is yet to be seen. I think she’s still a little too young.

Our “routine” went extra haywire the past few days though. Suddenly she started eating constantly and hardly sleeping. This morning for example, she only went 1 hour and 15 minutes between feedings and napped for just 20 minutes before waking up rooting again.

I was starting to lose my mind a little when I thought – maybe she’s having her three week growth spurt? Right when I was convinced that was what was happening, Lila decided to nap for a solid two hours. Sigh.

It’s stressful to feel like I may be reading her signals the wrong way and not giving her what she needs. Of course I want to do what’s best for her while also setting us up for more sleep as soon as possible. I suppose it’s a little ridiculous for me to expect a 3.5 week old baby to have any sort of regularity.

We’ll figure this out soon enough I’m sure. Until we do I guess I’ll just trust my gut and follow Lila’s lead, while reminding myself that if 16 year olds can do it, I can do it. Thanks MTV! :)

First Day As a Full-Time Mommy

Posted in Kids, Lila, Liz's Life by

Today is a big day. It’s the first day I am completely alone with Lila. Up until now, we’ve had a mix of family staying with us to help. But my mom left this morning after 2.5 weeks, Luke is back to work and I am Lila’s sole caregiver.

After a quick cry when my mom left this morning, I put on my big girl pants and got down to business. Here’s how our day has gone so far from 7:00 am – 11:30 am:

– Feed, burp and diaper change

– Awake play time singing songs

– Clean spit up off couch

– Down for a nap

– Make myself three eggs and coffee

– Soothe Lila back to sleep in the rocking chair

– Try to nap on the couch while Lila sleeps

– Feed, burp and change diaper

– Tummy time

– Change diaper again

– Clean spit up, gather baby laundry

– Down for nap in her crib

– Start laundry

– Eat a snack and sit down to blog while Lila dozes

Phew! Lots of day packed into just four hours. And notice how “shower and get dressed for the day” is not on that list. lol.

Any notion that I had about maternity leave being “a break” has quickly been forgotten. This is going to be a lot of work, but so worth it. I mean, come on, look at what I get to see at this very moment.

This whole stay at home bit is going to be an adjustment for the next couple months. I am used to being in a vibrant office setting with a lot of social interaction. It’s going to be important that I settle into a routine and keep my schedule full.

Thankfully, I found and joined a mom’s group here in town and have already met a lot of other new moms to get together with. And we’ve started reaching back out to our friends in town to have them come over and meet Lila. My goal is to have at least two social events scheduled for each week while also trying to get out every day for a walk or to run an errand.

Oh, and I should probably try to get out of my pajamas by 1pm every day, right? :)

I’m curious, how have you other moms adjusted to being home alone with a baby all day? Any advice for me?

Mom, Thank you a million times over for putting your life on hold the past two and a half weeks to be here with us. I will never forget the time you spent here with little Lila. You are the best Mimi any child could ask for! 

 

Dear Lila – You’re Two Weeks!

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Dear Lila,

Can you believe your first two weeks of life have come and gone? Today we took you to the doctor for your two week check up and you gained ANOTHER 10 ounces – 20 total since leaving the hospital. I was so proud of how well you’re doing. The doctor said I must be making “milk of gold.”

It’s hard to fathom how much our life has already changed since you’ve joined us. I can hardly even remember what our life was like before you. I know it involved more sleep, but otherwise it was void of all the joy you bring to us every day. You really have weaved yourself into every inch of our lives in such a short period of time, and it has been the most wonderful change I could have imagined.

Mimi is here helping take care of you while I recover and every day she marvels at what a good baby you are. You are very chill. Not much crying or fussing. Lots of nursing and sleeping. And lots of funny faces that make us all giggle.

You have had three baths so far and have enjoyed them all immensely. It’s the drying off part you could do without. You are quite a loud baby – lots of snorting, grunting and sighing. You like laying on your side best, but tolerate tummy time and back laying time really well. You LOVE to show off your sucking reflex and have already found your thumb.

Basically you are just so easy to love.

It melts my heart to see your daddy with you. Before you were born, he was a little nervous about having a girl. Just because he was worried he wouldn’t be “sensitive” enough to relate to a girl. I knew better though. He’s already putty in your hand! He loves to give you kisses, snooze with you on his chest and attend to your every whim. In fact, just a few days after you were born, he turned to me and said “I think I changed my mind. I want all girls now. She’s just sooo sweet.”

I can’t blame him though. I am totally smitten with you too. My favorite time is snuggling you after you get done nursing. You have such a funny face on and are in a total milk coma. Although breastfeeding is time consuming and at times uncomfortable, I am happy that I am the only one who can help you grow and thrive in that way.

The only really hard part about this whole newborn period is the realization that you won’t be my little baby for long. We were at a party last night for the mom’s group here in Incline Village and next to me was a three month old baby boy. He looked SO big next to you and my heart broke in half thinking about how quickly you’re going to grow and change this year.

Of course I am so excited to watch you get bigger, to see your first gummy smile and help you develop, but I will miss this period when you need me so much and are so tiny and snuggly. But I guess time is both a friend and foe. One thing I know motherhood will teach me is how to truly savor each moment.

So, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing tonight. Snuggling you close to me, taking lots of photos and reflecting on how blessed I am to be your mommy.

Love,

Me

Lila Kate’s Birth Story – Hypnobirthing and a Surprise C-Section

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Well, our girl is here! She arrived on 11/18 at 5:19 am at the Carson-Tahoe hospital. 6 lbs 9 oz and 19 inches long.

Here’s the story of how our sweetheart came into the world. I wanted to share it only because when I was pregnant I was slightly obsessed with reading other women’s birth stories. Something about knowing how the process went for different women comforted me and made me realize that I could handle whatever was thrown my way.

On Saturday the 17th, Luke and I went out for what we hoped would be one last date night before baby. We went to Dragonfly in Truckee and I had a curry fish dish. It’s about a 35 minute drive each way on some bumpy, windy roads. It was a really nice evening out spent with my #1 guy.

Earlier in the day I thought I MIGHT be feeling some of the signs I had read about as indicators that labor was coming soon. I had a burst of energy earlier in the day and found myself in hyper-nesting mode, which included ironing all the placemats and napkins we were going to use for Thanksgiving. I noticed that Lila was especially quiet and not doing as many kicks as usual (although she was still moving). And finally my heartburn was much worse than it normally is.

After we got home from dinner, around 8:30 pm, I was in our closet getting ready for bed. I bent over to put on my sweatpants and felt a POP and then a gush of fluid. I immediately yelled “LUKE!! Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.”

His response “What? Is there a bug?” LOL.

I ran into the bathroom and stood in the shower while we discussed our next steps. It was such a SHOCK when my water broke. I immediately got a rush of adrenaline that left me shaking and pretty freaked out. My first reaction was to start crying because I suddenly became very scared about what lay ahead of me. Labor. Delivery. Becoming a parent. Despite having nine months to prepare, it all hit me hard in that moment.

Luke stayed calm and reassured me that we were ready and everything would go great. We called my sister, who drove down that night from San Francisco with her husband and baby. And our parents to let them know what was happening. We called the hospital and they told us to come in. Since my water had broken, I would have to deliver within 24 hours to ward off risk of infection.

Luke showered while I packed a few odds and ends into our bag. My contractions had not started by this point, so I was getting worried I would have to take Pitocin to start labor. Luckily about 20 minutes later, they came while we were driving the 45 minutes to the hospital. They weren’t anything I couldn’t manage with some relaxation and breathing, although they were coming every 5-8 minutes.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had been doing a pre-labor preparation program called Hypnobirthing. It sounds hokey, but Hypnobirthing basically teaches you how to go into instant relaxation through “hypnosis.” It’s not the hypnosis you see on TV with people doing ridiculous things. More like relaxation audio scripts and breathing you practice 4-5 times a week so your body gets conditioned to relax as soon as it hears it.

In the car, we listened to the audio called “birthing affirmations ” which reminds mom that birthing is a natural process, done by women for all of time and that our bodies are designed to bring our babies into the world in a healthy way. It immediately helped me get over my initial fear and relax my muscles. I began to get really excited to meet my baby girl.

Once at the hospital, we spent about 30 minutes in the admitting room where they confirmed my water had broken (duh) and asked me about a million questions. Thankfully my contractions were still bearable at this point and I could talk through them.

Soon we were put into our own room where I would labor, deliver and recover. I was just getting settled into my relaxation tapes when a new nurse came to our room and started a whole other admission process – aka another 100 questions and 45 minutes. By now my contractions were coming every four minutes and were strong enough that I could no longer talk through them. Luke took over answering all the questions like “how many years of college did you complete?” Why they needed to know all this stuff is beyond me.

Finally at about midnight we were done with all the Q&A and were left alone in our room. We dimmed the lights and I got to work practicing my Hypnobirthing. In my case this meant listening to a “rainbow relaxation” audio and focusing on my slow breathing – 20 seconds in, 20 out – during each contraction.

I told Luke to get some rest, because I figured if the average first labor is 15 hours, I would need him rested and alert the next day to help me through the hardest parts. I closed my eyes and worked through the contractions as they came.

Before going into labor I wondered what a contraction would feel like. For me it was like my stomach muscles were tightening and slowly that tightening would move up my abdomen and around my lower back. The only time they became painful was when I wasn’t relaxed. Otherwise it felt like pressure and tightening.

I had heard ahead of time that it’s best to move around while laboring. To sit on a birthing ball, or sway with your birth partner, but for me the best position was lying in bed, on my side, completely still. Like I was a marionette doll with all the strings cut. The few times I did get up to go to the bathroom or to try the rocking chair, I was immediately overcome with pain during my contractions.

Time went by so quickly that night. The nurse would come check on me ever hour to hour and a half, but it felt like I saw her every 15 minutes. I was so focused internally on my contractions that I had no concept of time, which was fine with me!

At one point, around 3:45 am, I went to the bathroom and immediately started to shake uncontrollably. My teeth were chattering so hard I thought I was going to chip a tooth. I had heard that some women shake during transition – the hardest part of labor between 7-10 cm dilation – but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

Soon after the nurse came back in and said “well since you’re able to still sleep through your contractions, it doesn’t appear your labor is progressing as quickly as we’d like. The doctor wants to start you on Pitocin soon.” I was really confused – what did she mean I was “sleeping” through my contractions?? I realize now that she was mistaking my lying in bed with my eyes closed while I was laboring as sleeping – ha! Luke confirmed, that he too thought I was sleeping the whole night. Apparently I was still as a stone and made no noise except for some heavier breathing at times.

Anyway, I really wanted to avoid Pitocin because I had read that is makes contractions MUCH stronger, closer together and painful – almost always meaning you’d need to get an epidural. So I asked the nurse to please check me before we make any decisions about starting Pitocin.

She obliged and at first said I was still only at 1 cm dilated. I literally said yelled out “Oh dear god, NO!!” But quickly she changed her mind and said “wait, no, you’re actually at 7 cm!!” I was so excited, 7 cm dilated in just 4-5 hours! That elation was quickly stymied though when she followed up with “there is a complication” and started paging other nurses to come to my room.

After a scary few minutes, she finally told me that Lila was breech. I was so confused. My doctor had been telling me for weeks that her head was very low and engaged. The nurse at admissions had even told me she felt her head down. How could she have flipped so last minute?

Turns out Lila inherited at least one trait from me … a boney butt. Apparently the round boney thing everyone was certain was her head for so many weeks, was actually her butt!

My doctor came in at 4:15 am (even though she wasn’t on call that night) and confirmed the breech prognosis via ultrasound. She was so far down the birth canal that flipping her wasn’t an option – I was definitely going to need a c-section.

I felt a mix of fear, disappointment, anxiety and PAIN. Through all the commotion of figuring out what was going on with Lila, I was in the thick of transition. Completely unable to relax anymore, the pain I had successfully avoided so far, hit me hard. While the doctors and nurses discussed my surgery, I was writhing on the bed, moaning and yelling out with each contraction.

After what seemed like an eternity, the nurses gave me a shot of something to stop my contractions. I had about ten minutes before surgery to prepare myself mentally. A c-section was not in my birth plan and I really had no idea what was about to happen, so I was pretty scared.

On top of that, I began to shake uncontrollably again. The shaking didn’t stop until well after surgery. The poor anesthesiologist had the hardest time getting the spinal in that three nurses had to hold me down!

The actual surgery was a total breeze. I felt no pain and within 10 minutes of starting, I heard my daughter announce her arrival with a shrill scream. Everyone in the room gave me the play by play – “she has a lot of dark hair!” “She’s long and lean like her parents!” “She is perfectly healthy.”

That first minute after a baby is born via c-section can be incredibly lonely for the mother. You’re sort of just laying there alone, looking up at the bright lights while everyone in the room gets to see and touch your baby before you do.

Soon enough though, they lowered the curtain and lifted Lila so I could see her. She was so beautiful I immediately burst into tears of joy. Right after that, Luke brought her over to my head so I could stare into my girl’s eyes for the first time.

We were lucky enough to be at a hospital that focuses on breastfeeding, so very soon after surgery and before any shots or eye goop, I was able to hold Lila skin-to-skin for more than an hour. She fed for the first time and knew exactly what to do. I credit this first hour together as the reason why she’s such a good eater now. She’s already gained 12 oz from her “leaving the hospital” weight in just a week!

We spent the rest of the 2.5 days in the hospital in our own room, bonding, recovering and getting to know the newest addition to our family.

We’ve been home a week now and couldn’t be happier. While recovering from a c-section (after also laboring to 7 cm) is tough, we are lucky in that Lila is an excellent eater, sleeps soundly and hardly cries. Plus we have gotten a lot of help from family these first few weeks.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disapointed in how her birth went. I would have loved to have avoided a c-section and delivered her naturally, but I am incredibly thankful for the talented and caring nurses and doctors at Carson-Tahoe hospital who made sure that Lila entered the world as safely as possible. That’s all that matters.

Now we’re just focused on getting me healthy and loving on the sweetest little girl we’ve ever met.