What Drives a Man to Approach a Woman?

This morning on the way into work, I was listening to the Wild 102.9 morning show on the radio. They were talking about a new study that Ok Cupid released about dating. I can’t find the study online, but the jist of it is this:

Men are more likely to message/approach a woman who is moderately attractive vs. a woman who is beautiful because the chances of rejection are lower and therefore less of a threat to their egos.

The men who called into the show backed up this theory, saying they don’t bother hitting on a girl who is a 9 or 10 because they’re sure she has men lined up around the corner, and they don’t want to waste their time with a girl who is in demand.

The women who called in expressed their frustration revealing that in fact, the beautiful girls are rarely if ever hit on while their less-attractive counter-parts are the ones with guys lined up.

This whole debate hit home for me. During my single years, I too was plagued with the “never gets hit on” disease. It was really frustrating! I couldn’t understand what was different about me from my friends that led guys to avoid approaching me.

I was told that it was because I was “intimidating” with my height (5’11), trendy clothes and outgoing personality. I always felt annoyed by that….what was I supposed to do? Make myself more plain jane just so I didn’t scare the poor, frightened men off? :)

Eventually I stopped waiting for the guys to come up to me and took the situation into my own hands by casually striking up a conversation with a guy I was attracted to.

Once the initial conversation was started, it always went well and usually ended up in a date or future contact, but it bothered me that I had to do all the initial work.

Even with Luke, I had to ask our mutual friend to introduce us when I noticed him looking at me, but not making a move. He claims he would have come up to me eventually, but I have my doubts.

So what do you think? Do men really target modestly-attractive women over more striking ones? Or is that just something women who don’t get hit on tell themselves so they feel better?

Men- what drives you to approach a woman? When do you stay away from a pretty girl?

Do Men Really Prefer Women Without Makeup On?

Living in the mountains has taken a toll on my beauty regime. I’ve been rocking a pony-tail most days, my nails haven’t been manicured in a month and my snow boots are the only shoes I wear.

One day last week when Luke and I were driving home from skiing all day, I looked in the side mirror at my ski-helmet matted down hair, pale face and chapped lips and asked aloud, “Am I even attractive anymore?!”

This alarmed Luke a bit. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

I explained the beauty rut I was feeling, how I hadn’t done my hair in weeks, my makeup was minimal at best and my clothing has been more functional than fashionable.

He stopped me short to say “Honestly, the past few weeks when you are leaving for work, I’ve thought to myself that you look really gorgeous. I like how you look best when you have aren’t all dolled up.”

I thought this was a very sweet comment. But since then, I’ve been thinking about what he said. Then I heard some Drake song lyrics “sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on, that’s when you’re the prettiest. I hope you don’t take it wrong” and thought…

Is it really possible that men are more attracted to women when they are in their natural state – eye bags, flat hair, unpolished nails and all?

I don’t know about you ladies, but I feel like I look WAY more attractive with makeup applied, my hair styled and a cute outfit on. And don’t even get me started on those “celebs without makeup” shots…eeek!!

Image from http://celebgossiplover.blogspot.com/2008/10/famous-celebrities-without-make-up.html

Image from http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/pretty-cheap/2009/12/celebs-without-makeup-some-may-shock-you-some-may-not.html

Image from http://girlstalkinsmack.com/2-stars-without-their-make-up/

HAHA! That last one was just mean, I know.

So is it just when a guy is in love with a woman that he can find her beautiful bare faced and in sweatpants, or is that truly what men prefer all the time?

Please weigh in and help me solve this conundrum!

Merry Christmas, Darling

There are a lot of amazing things about living in Lake Tahoe- the beauty, the skiing, our awesome new home, but there are also some not so great things, like being far from family.

Christmas is the busiest time of year when you work in the ski industry, so I will be working through the weekend, which means I won’t be with my family this year.

I also won’t get to be with Luke. We decided it was important for him to get back to Indiana to see his family since we were with mine on Thanksgiving. We love our families very much and want to make this transition as easy as possible on them.

It’s hard to be without him on our first Christmas as a married couple, but I’m focusing on all the wonderful things in our lives and our bright future.

I know we’ll have plenty of special Christmas moments together in the years to come and for right now the sacrifice is worth the benefits we’re getting from our new life.

But, because I’m a sentimental person, and have a flair for the dramatic, I have been listening to this song and thinking of him.

Merry Christmas honey! St. Nick gave me the best present ever when he brought you into my life (I still don’t get how you managed to fit into my stocking, though). :)

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! Leave me a comment and let me know who you’re thankful for this Christmas.

How Will I know?

This weekend we attended a Halloween party with some of our friends. We dressed as some totally random, inanimate objects- ketchup and mustard. Lol!

During the party, the topic of relationships came up. Being the only married couple there, someone asked how we knew our relationship was marriage material.

I told them what my Dad told me. His method of analysis is extremely simple, but also pretty accurate in predicting a good relationship.

Ask yourself two things…

Does your relationship make you feel like this most of the time?

Or like this?

I know that seems like an over-simplified way to judge if you’re well-matched with your beau, but really, in my experience when it’s right you really are happy most of the time.

When I first started dating Luke the ease into which our relationship progressed startled me. It was just smooth sailing all the time and it was a little unnerving.

I was so trained to think that fighting and making up equaled “passion.” When I thought about it though, the lows in those scenarios weren’t worth the temporary highs. I also noticed all those relationships eventually ended.

Sure we have our squabbles, like this morning when I spilt toothpaste on the counter and didn’t clean it (sorry babe!), but really I can count the number of legit fights we’ve ever had on less than one hand.

Some of my friends didn’t really seem to buy my response. In fact, a couple (mainly guys) commented that my idea of a good relationship sounded boring and monotonous without the drama fighting can bring.

I guess I can see where they’re coming from, but I’d argue that getting along is MUCH better than not getting along. Who really likes being around that couple who constantly bickers and makes up while trying to play it off as “cute?”

Even worse? Living as that couple everyday.

But maybe that’s just me. Do you guys find a healthy dose of arguing is good for a relationship? Or do you prefer to be with someone who you get along with most of the time?