This morning on the way into work, I was listening to the Wild 102.9 morning show on the radio. They were talking about a new study that Ok Cupid released about dating. I can’t find the study online, but the jist of it is this:
Men are more likely to message/approach a woman who is moderately attractive vs. a woman who is beautiful because the chances of rejection are lower and therefore less of a threat to their egos.
The men who called into the show backed up this theory, saying they don’t bother hitting on a girl who is a 9 or 10 because they’re sure she has men lined up around the corner, and they don’t want to waste their time with a girl who is in demand.
The women who called in expressed their frustration revealing that in fact, the beautiful girls are rarely if ever hit on while their less-attractive counter-parts are the ones with guys lined up.
This whole debate hit home for me. During my single years, I too was plagued with the “never gets hit on” disease. It was really frustrating! I couldn’t understand what was different about me from my friends that led guys to avoid approaching me.
I was told that it was because I was “intimidating” with my height (5’11), trendy clothes and outgoing personality. I always felt annoyed by that….what was I supposed to do? Make myself more plain jane just so I didn’t scare the poor, frightened men off? :)
Eventually I stopped waiting for the guys to come up to me and took the situation into my own hands by casually striking up a conversation with a guy I was attracted to.
Once the initial conversation was started, it always went well and usually ended up in a date or future contact, but it bothered me that I had to do all the initial work.
Even with Luke, I had to ask our mutual friend to introduce us when I noticed him looking at me, but not making a move. He claims he would have come up to me eventually, but I have my doubts.
So what do you think? Do men really target modestly-attractive women over more striking ones? Or is that just something women who don’t get hit on tell themselves so they feel better?
Men- what drives you to approach a woman? When do you stay away from a pretty girl?
