A Love/Hate Relationship

Posted in Kids, Liz's Life by

I have a confession. Last week I Googled “I hate being pregnant.”

It was in a low moment when I was feeling nauseous, exhausted, emotional and was helplessly watching Luke clean our entire house in preparation for MY friends visiting. I felt like such a waste of space.

Please know that I definitely don’t hate being pregnant. I know how lucky I am and that there are many women who would give their left leg to be in my position. In fact I almost didn’t write this post because I would never want to offend or hurt someone, but then I thought about how guilty I have felt during the past few months, when I was less than excited to be in my current state, and thought perhaps sharing could help other women find some understanding.

Also, I guess I felt a bit unprepared for what being pregnant really is like – especially the first few months. It seems all I ever saw/heard was women showing off their cute bumps, excitedly preparing for baby and gushing about the “joys” of pregnancy. No one ever mentioned the wretched physical and emotional changes you deal with!

So in an effort to be “real” about this whole pregnancy business, I wanted to share my personal loves and hates with the process to date:

I love…

– The moment I told Luke we were going to be parents. It was a very special time I won’t forget.

– Watching my stomach grow. Of course gaining weight is in the back of your head, but seeing my belly start to take shape makes me excited.

– Seeing our baby for the first time on the ultrasound. He/she was waving their arms around and doing flips! My reaction was funny- I couldn’t stop laughing!

– Thinking about baby names. Even before (okay long before) getting pregnant, I’ve daydreamed about baby names. I have a list of about 10 names I like, but have agreed for the sake of Luke’s sanity not to get into it too much until we learn the sex. :)

– Having a good excuse to do more relaxing. I don’t feel guilty at all for saying I need a nap these days!

Now, the things I hate…

– Morning sickness. This is obvious, but I don’t think I really understood what feeling nauseous 24/7 for 3.5 months was like until I lived it.

– Emotional changes. I don’t know if it was just hormones or a combination of being sick/tired all the time, but I definitely felt some depression during those first few months. It’s very confusing to feel sad during a time when you’re supposed to be elated.

– Worrying about the baby. I was already a worrier, but since getting pregnant, it’s gone into overdrive. I worry about everything and how it might harm my baby – nutrition, too many ultrasounds, vitamins etc. It’s exhausting…which leads me to my next hate.

– Exhaustion. Apparently growing a baby is tough work because I literally need about 10 hours of sleep a night and even then I’m exhausted by 3pm. I have to work up a lot of energy to go out and do things like hitting golf balls or going for a walk.

– The physical side effects. These include a lot of things I had no idea happen to a pregnant lady including (might be TMI, you’ve been warned) – acne, truck driver burps, nasal congestion/bloody noses, constipation and/or diarrhea and episodes of your heart racing. Oh and you also have a weakened immune system, so you pick up colds/flu a lot easier – I’m holed up in bed as we speak with a terrible cold.

– Losing Independence. My best friend put it so well the other day when I called her to commiserate – she said, “it’s really hard to rely on other people when you’re used to doing things for yourself.” I’ve already found that I need to rely on Luke a ton and also my colleagues when I was feeling really sick and that makes me feel really guilty and worried someone might start to resent me.

Thankfully I’m past the first trimester and FINALLY am no longer sick (except for this cold) all the time. People have told me the second trimester is much, much better and we have some exciting milestones coming up, like when I should be able to feel the baby kick and also finding out the gender (June 28).

I’d be lying if I said the first trimester was “a joy” but I would say there were many beautiful, wonderful aspects that I’m going to hold on to over the bad stuff. In the end, I know its all worth it and we’ll hopefully have a healthy, happy, beautiful baby at the end of it all.

 

 

Saint Luke Batman – Canonized May 20, 2012

Posted in Liz's Life by

During a pregnancy, people tend to focus on the woman. How’s she feeling, how she looks, helping her prepare for motherhood. But I feel like the husband (if he’s a good one!) is affected almost as much as the woman.

Since I’ve gotten pregnant and have been dealing with a lot of nausea and exhaustion, Luke has taken on a ton. He’s been cooking my meals – including breakfast in bed many mornings, grocery shopping, make sure I take my prenatals (they make me sick), cleaning and just generally helping me with what I need to feel better. The man is seriously a saint.

His application for saint-hood was amplified last weekend, when we had to deal with one of life’s terrible necessities – MOVING. Ugh.

After nine long months of waiting for our short sale offer to go through, we decided to call it quits and backed out of the deal. It just wasn’t meant to be, which was made clear when the seller told us it wasn’t anywhere close to being approved by the second bank.

Anyway, we found a really nice rental house (here’s a photo)…

Last weekend we bit the bullet and moved for the fifth time in two years (no joke!). Normally I can help out quite a bit with packing, moving and unpacking, but this time I was so exhausted, couldn’t lift much and was still feeling ill, so Luke had to do the majority of it alone.

What could have turned into a situation where he felt resentful, angry and frustrated was flipped into one where he was “getting some good exercise.” He seriously never complained once and kept telling me to go lie down and that he had it covered. I kept saying I felt bad that I was only 1/4 of a mover, but he insisted I was “helping him a lot” even though we both knew that was a joke.

I’m happy to report that after two long days of moving,  we’re all settled in our new home for the next year, the nursery is empty waiting to be decorated and Luke’s sore muscles are easing. Just in time for a relaxing, long weekend at home.

And I’m still the luckiest girl I know.

Ch Ch Ch Changes

Posted in Kids, Liz's Life by

First I want to start off my saying thank you all so much for your heartfelt excitement for our news! Every like, comment and tweet made me smile.

I’m 13 weeks on the dot today, which means only one more week of the dreaded first trimester! I say dreaded only because of morning sickness. I know that I am incredibly lucky to be pregnant and to have gotten pregnant so quickly, but morning sickness is still the pits.

But thankfully the 24/7 nausea is starting to fade, my energy is creeping back and I’m able to start enjoying some of the better parts of pregnancy … like a growing bump!

Everyone has told me I won’t show much because I’m tall, but so far I can’t tell if I’ll show a lot or very little because literally every day my stomach is different. Case in point, this was taken last night at a friend’s clothing swap party.

Pretty big bump for 13 weeks!!

Then this morning I had Luke snap this one…

Just a bitty baby bump. Quite a drastic change. Maybe I just get a food baby later in the day? :)

Other than the belly, there’s been a lot of other changes happening to my body, moods, eating habits and definitely to my sleep. I already slept an average of 9 hours a night, but lately I can’t get enough sleep. I go to bed at 8pm and am still sleeping deeply when my alarm goes off at 6:45am.

Luke’s been taking all my quirky changes in stride and has changed his life in more ways than one to support me. For example, the smell of meat cooking seriously grosses me out, so the poor guy hasn’t had a proper meal in quite awhile. He’s been subsisting on eggs, canned sardines (his choice!) and vegetables.

My diet has been so bizarre too. Morning sickness has made me have aversions to meat, most vegetables and chocolate (???). My nausea friends have been popcorn, fruit smoothies, Lara Bars, greek yogurt,  sour fruits like grapes and kiwi and Luke’s famous banana pancakes (made with coconut flour). I’ve been doing a pretty good job of eating healthy despite my limited appetite.

The past three months have been quite a roller coaster, but I have a feeling the next six and beyond will be even more interesting!

 

The Moment I Found Out I’d Be a Mom

Posted in Liz's Life by

Post written March 23, 2012

This morning I found out I am pregnant.

I had a feeling it was coming. We started “trying” this month and although I never thought I would get pregnant right away, my body felt different and I was four days late. I decided I was going to wait until the morning to take a test so I would be following the instructions on the pregnancy test to a T.

I woke up at 5:30 am needing to go to the bathroom. I think it was mainly in my head because I was so anxious to find out.

A few moments later, I sat on the toilet lid watching the pregnancy test like a hawk. Within a mintue or two there were two dark, distinguishable lines. There was no doubt…I was pregnant! I felt a rush of excitement and a smile permanently plastered on my face.

Luke was downstairs making his coffee. I walked into the kitchen carrying the stick and I set it down in front of him. I temporarily forgot that Luke is a man and would have no clue how to read a pregnancy test. He stared at it and asked me “what does this mean?”

And I blurted out “I’m PREGNANT!!!” With the biggest smile on my face I think I’ve ever had.

I immediately fell into his arms and burst into tears.

Luke wasn’t sure why I was crying. Crying to him means upset. He asked me “how do you feel?”

And I replied between sobs into his shoulder “I’m so happy!!”

And I meant it with my whole heart. I am so happy to become a mother. To start this stage of my life. To start a family.